You are welcome to have a small talk here
You are welcome to have a small talk here
Hello everybody! I do not want to start this topic with a bad note. But in any case, I really want to talk about a really important question for me. To be honest, I can not understand some thing in adult relationships. I can not understand when parents are trying to interfere in our relationship. I say this simply because lately I've started to get a similar problem with my partner. His parents began to interfere in our relationship is really a lot. And I just do not understand why they do it. I also do not understand why my partner is not doing anything to stop it. I feel that his parents do not like me. And perhaps they are trying to embroil us. I do not know what to do ... Who can tell me the reason for this? What do you think about it? What can I do in this situation? Do you think it is normal when parents try to take part in your relationship?
This is a fairly common theme. In addition, I also think that most adult couples can really suffer from such things. Many parents do not realize that they create quite serious problems with regard to their children when they try to intervene or advise something. It really is the number one problem. But worst of all, when your partner does not try to somehow cope with such things. I am sure that he must learn to protect his family, and your relationship. Moreover, it should protect you. But I also do not understand why he does not do anything like that. Perhaps he is afraid to say something about his mother or dad?
Psychologists say that any relationship between human beings represent a vowel or a tacit agreement: are you for me I, I - you. So surely children have to "give his duty" only if the parents were responsible enough in the performance of their duties and only in old age, they all come back. And if they do not differ much parental care, and the children worry about them is not necessary. According to psychologists. duty - a relative term. All we have someone that something must be only in case if there is a written or verbal agreement about this. If it does not, then no debt and, therefore, whether to do something for someone, a man decides only on its goodwill.
In life, there are three types of relationships between adult children and parents. Regardless of the amount of attention that children give their elderly parents, it will not be enough for them. And they will always want to get more. They are constantly expressing grievances and children express their dissatisfaction. For example, they arrived today, and parents were waiting for them yesterday. The children took them to the country, and they want the sea. And such claims and grievances with each passing year becomes more and more. In this case, the children begin to think about what may be nothing at all to do to avoid causing dissatisfaction of parents once again.
Parents do not have control and educate their adult children. They must respect the choice of the children. Freed from parental care, children should help their parents do not feel alone. But for many parents is sufficient, if the children are permanently interested in their affairs and desires, share with them their joys and sorrows. Communicate with parents, take care of them is not necessary because of gratitude for what they have done for us, but also because the contact can not be interrupted. Only in this way can have a sense of human life and the only way he can be an example to teach their children to respect their right to themselves.
Probably, there are no parents who would not want the best for their child. That is why they are desperately trying to somehow influence the life of his already adult offspring and do not stop "intermeddle" in their family life, even if the young couple happy with their particular happiness. Parents are generally very interesting views on everything, and that's why they do not see just one decent for their children, they always want someone better. Rare to find those who will be pleased with the selection of their children completely. And this is quite a unique case in any event. So I do not see anything surprising.
This is a fairly common situation in any way. Of course I can not say things like that about all the parents completely. Because some parents have enough wisdom to accept the choice of their children and they reluctantly tolerate teeth and just do not walk into someone else's family with its charter, although with each other can share some views and claims. But in any case, I think that your situation is only your partner can cope with this problem. But he must have a serious talk with his parents to try to stabilize the situation. Just when you try to talk to them, it will not bring results.
Base relations. The first couple of years in the absence of children the couple looking at each other, develop "internal rules", master of life. This is a unique foundation on which will be built a fortress. It is important for a young family to distribute their responsibilities and life in one area does not give the parents the opportunity to do so. Therefore, as soon as the young are moving into separate housing from their parents, they are faced with unresolved questions about your household problems. But in any case, when the parents are trying to intervene in such matters, it can lead to complete separation. You do not have to give his parents a similar opportunity in any way.
I had a similar problem in my personal relationships. And I can tell you that it's really awful. This is particularly due to the relationship bedding, which can also be damaged due to the parents. Many believe that young family can be reconciled at night, with the help of a sexual relationship. This is partly true. But can we believe in the efficacy of this method, when your partner is trying to tell my mother about some mistakes during sex or gives some guidance? And even if not, whether one feels comfortable knowing that behind the wall asleep parents? All this is really annoying. Therefore, I advise you to get away from his parents as far as possible.
Children tend to listen to the views of parents. Even if they do not really do this any conclusions, moms are able to cheat against anyone. This female essence ... With men, everything is easier - they are less likely to climb in the life of a young family, some have special wisdom, and sometimes indifference. Therefore, most of the difficulties it causes moms. So I think that first of all you have to solve the problem with your partner. Maybe you even have to put certain conditions. Because if all this will continue in this way, your family can be broken. Your partner should make a choice between his family and parents.
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