I know that children are the greatest gift a person can have. That’s why I want to adopt a child. But I think that it would be very difficult. I don’t mean the documentary part. I mean the psychological one. Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?
the problem is not that the biological parent left him, the matter is that the person whom he loved and lived with just decided that he is no needed in the family. i think that it is very big stress and depression for the child and he would always be afraid of the possibility that you would leave him as well. i think that it would be difficult for you to make him happy but you would succeed in it and everything would be alright. show you love and care and you would make him the happiest child.
I think that it does depend greatly on the age of the child. If it is a newborn - then basically he does not care, sorry if that does sound cruel. His consciousness still cannot deal with facts, he only can feel comfort or discomfort. When the kid is older - that is other question already. It depends on how did his partners left him.. Was that an accident for example - or if they just threw him away - I think such things do happen sometimes. In that case it is very difficult to restore child's trust and faith in people. Such people often wage really miserable lives. You need to be a strong person to make that kid feel love towards the world again!
The matter is what was the reason why the biologocal parents left a child. If they died and a baby is quiet old, then it would be rather difficult, because the feeling of loss of the relative is the worst thing in the world. If they just threw him away, then it'll be also difficult, but in this case talks can help. Anyhow, having an adopted child means you should do everything to make him happy. Moreover very often such children are really greatful to those who took them that's why with time they become ordiary children. Time cures everything and I believe in it. Some support, care and love and poor little child will be happy again!
There are some things that you should avoid if you adopted a baby. First of all, don't mention how your child differs from the rest of the family. It is also unnecessary to hide the fact that your child is adopted. You see, sooner or later you'll have to answer this question that's why it is better to do it when your child is little. If you have adoption records, don't hide them. If your child wants to know anything about his biological parents, then he has the right for it. If you don't have such information but your child wants to know something about his roots, try to help him. Love your child and be honest and you'll have good relations!
Richard wrote:There are some things that you should avoid if you adopted a baby.
There's lot of wisdom in your post, Richard, thanks! Did you have the adoption experience already? You are right - on each step of its development and growth the child will be facing some new questions regarding to its adoption. Eventually it will want to know its origins in most cases - and I think that you should give all the help with that you can. I think it is important to raise the child in the strong belief that the physiological act is not what make people parents. If you gave the child a happy childhood and memories that he will cherish all his life - you will be the person whom he will be calling "dad" till the end of his days.
It is a good question. I think it is worth visiting a good psychologist before adoption. I think that it will be not as difficult as you think. Maybe it is better to adopt a younger child. I mean he has not realized yet that his biological parents have left him. I think that the psychologist will help you to find the right answers to your question and find the right strategy of communication with the adopted child.
Ad for me the real parent is not than who bore, or took part in the process, but the man who oved a kid, who cared of him and gave everything he needed, that is why my answer is, sure, the kid can be happy if you are a real parent, but not just a word))))))
Make the adopted child happy is impossible, because the trauma of his adoption will always be with him. This does not mean that he cannot be happy at all, but it will always be an injury for him. You must remember this and take it as the law. Whatever the adoptive parents, no matter how they tried to bring happiness to their adopted child, he will always be injured.
People wrote about this already, but I will write once again, joining their opinion. It depends on the age of the kid, and on the previous experiences the kid had. If he is 2 years old, from a bad family, where he was beaten, then it will be a cub of a wolf, wild and afraid to trust anyone. It is very hard to gain the trust of the kid who was already maimed psychologically. That is a big challenge, and you should never do anything like that unless you are completely sure in your mental strength and ability to handle this child. And if this is a small baby, up to 2-3 years old - then it will be much easier, of course.
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