This situation is rather common. Not everyone is ready for this - to let unknown person to see your child, to spend some time together. As for me - I would prevent all contacts with surrogate mother not to harm my child. What would you do?
Daniel, I see that you are quite new to this... If you are using the services of the agency - you will not know who is the surrogate mother. that is forbidden. The surrogate mother will not know who is she working for - I mean the couple that is passing the program. And that is a very wise decision, that assures you that there will be no problems of any kind in the future, no frauds and no "mother instinct, that suddenly woke up from its hibernation" .this policy is proven to be wise and really effective. Besides, I do not think that you would like to have contacts with her yourself, and even less you would want your kid to contact her.
that is impossible by the rules of the most agencies. And that is a really bad idea anyway. Why would you want to do that? the surrogate mother is not more then an "incubator" for your child. I know that does sound rude and even sacrilegious, but that is the way it is. We do need the surrogate mothers only because the science still did not create the ways to grow kids in completely artificial environment, "in vitro", as the doctors call it. So why would you want to meet your kid with the woman that basically does not give a damn about him - on about the money she is going to get for taking her part in the program?
Daniel, do not be surprised with the answers that you got to your question) It seems to me that you are really new to this topic - and you do not know all the nuances of the process. Else way you would not ask this kind of questions. You should read in the Net about the bad things that had happened between the surrogate mothers and the couples. Lot of fraud, misunderstandings. So everybody came to the conclusion, that it is better to keep it all private and anonymous. this is the best way for everyone. I would not want to know the identity of the surrogate mother that will carry my kid - there are no good reason for knowing such things, trust me.
Well, hello Daniel) You do see (read) the person, who actually found and met the surrogate mother that gave birth to it's kid... This was made because of pure curiosity actually) And it was a pretty interesting experience. But we will never acquaint her with Susan, my daughter. and I doubt we are going to communicate with her again, even though she is a pretty descent and nice person. Daniel, there is no point to look for this meeting, These women have nothing to do with the kid you will get from one of them. This is your kid, not hers, even though she gave the birth to him.
Ben_Roar wrote:This was made because of pure curiosity actually)
and this is a good trait of character) i am the same in that way - and, as I did write here before - i know a surrogate mother as well. Not the one who will be the surrogate mother of my kid - but just a woman who took part in someone else's program. And I can say that I had a really interesting conversation with her. Not because she was a really interesting person - but because I found the answers to many questions about the surrogate motherhood that I did not know. And, basing on that experience, I can tell now for sure that I would not want to know the surrogate mother of my kid.
Ok guys, I understood))) I discovered that I know a little about the nuances of this process, I will read more... I have change my mind after your words. But accordingly the law, could this mother during some time deand her child back???
If it happend and you can not make a baby without surrogate mother so you have to ask her to born a baby for you. It is a quite difficult situation. I think it is better to adopt a child, this way you help a child to get new parents who take care of him and make this child happy for the rest of his life. But if you decided to make it through surrogacy i think when a child will be older he will ask the question where i came from, because he will get to know that it is impossible for gays to have children, so i think it is stupid to hide a surrogacy mother and allow her to meet a baby.
i had a strong position and generally i do sti have the same, that if use the service of a surogaccy center i will be stirn in my point of view that a surrogate mother has no right to see my child after bearing him or her. you know why?? generally the situation with gay couples is difficult itself, just because when the kid will grow up he or she will be interested why do they have no mum.. and here if you let their biological mum become a mum, then you'll give your kid a reason to be real part of the kids family and that is not the best idea of your's
maybe i would be rude, violent , unkind and everything like that but i think that i would not let the surrogate see my child. i do not see the reason for it and i think that it is not really needed . i think that for the child it would be better to raise without the surrogate mother because hse is not actually the mother of the child. i think that it is the right decision. and i think that the surrogate would not like to see the child. it is just her job, she has her family and she is happy and she ahs a lot of such children and it does not mean that she ahs to visit all of them. i think that i am right.
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