Hello Howard! My gongratulations to you and your partner! Have you got kids already or in the process still? Unfortunatel i havent got children so far, but i hope to be as lucky as you are soon. I think there are three basic steps to being a good father for your children. Loving them more than anything, i think, gooes without saying. So here are the three things. Number one is honesty. Like any other relationship with adults, relationship with a child has to be based on honesty as well. NO false promisses to get your child to do something you want. Second is acceptance. Children are children, they will make so many mistakes, also will repeat same ones many many times before they learn. We have to accept them for what they are like they accept us the way we are. And the third is support. Support and acceptance are different and it is important you understand this difference. A child has to feel free and safe knowing that there are going to be his parents ready to help him and stand for him no matter what the situation is.
So, that no one should turn us around, so that no one manipulates us and tells us what and how to do, we need to replace our sense of duty with our reasonable desires. Do as you want to do, not as you should. You do not owe anything to anyone. There is common sense, there are our desires, based on this common sense, and there are opportunities that each of us currently has. Based on all this, we can make certain decisions, after which we will perform certain actions to achieve the goals that we need.
And when you see everything, you understand, and you can calculate everything, can you have problems in that case, connected with those unpredictable situations that you could not predict, will it be prepared, or not at all? The answer I believe is obvious to you, therefore, appreciate the most valuable, develop your mental faculties, and finally leave this awful anabiosis state in which perhaps some of you have your brain. Do not let others think for you, think for yourself, other people, should only serve as a source of information for you, but not a means of chewing on it.
It is also important to understand that sex is a need. This is not a game, not a fiction of a person, not one of his invented desires, but a natural natural need that must be satisfied in order to feel comfortable, both from a psychological and a physical point of view. Whether we like it or not, we need to satisfy our needs, nature calls us to this. Therefore, regardless of our attitude to sex - we will want to do it. After all, we have to deal with it, because we must multiply, we must continue our generation, like all other living beings on this planet. Therefore, the need for sex is a very strong need.
Oh, you are very lucky. You're lucky! Being a parent sounds very proud. I hope your child is proud of you. You ask how else you can be a better father, then I think the best way is to spend more with the child on time. This will not only bring you good emotions and feelings, but also you can learn something from each other. Find a common hobby, teach the child something new, show and share with the child what you love - I think these are the best things and so you can really become a good father. Happiness and good luck to you!
And decisiveness is interesting only when it leads to success, even imaginary, and when other people praise for it, and do not condemn. Even simple attention to a determined person strengthens in him the belief in the correctness of his behavior, as he sees that he is interesting to other people when he does something, when he shows activity, when he makes decisions when he acts. And this is natural, because man - not a vegetable, not a plant - he must act, must show activity and initiative, to be and to be interesting.
Howard, I don't know you personally , but based on your words and general view on this I'm sure you will be able to become a decent father. Really, without doubts. If you're struggling with situation which you don't know how to handle - just ask your own conscience, do what you fell will be right. That's my advice to you .
But this in itself is not a calculation, the calculation should have more data and, by processing such data, produce a completely new result, since each new situation in our life is, to a certain extent, unique. Given the above, you and I, in principle, can not recognize the authorities in this life, they simply do not exist, each of us is unique in his own way, and above all for himself. Having the same set of data as a person possessing extraordinary abilities, using his brain, putting before him the task of achieving this or that result, you can repeat the path of absolutely any genius, or pass your own.
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