Hello John. You will never be ready for each and every thing that may occur in your life. Be ready to be strong - and to be happy - that what I can say to you in regards of being a father. One may ask me of course - how can I know that , if I am not a father myself? Well - there are always people around you, who's experience you may share and learn from. I do have friends who adopted a girl over 6 years ago - and I took my part - sometimes a pretty big part - in raising her. So I do know what I am talking about. I am sure that when I will have a kid of my own - it will feel completely different though. But all the technical matters, that you should be ready to - will remain pretty much the same.
My friend, i am more then sure that you cannot be competey ready for everything parenting can bring into your life. it is future, my friend and you cannot know all the future beforehand)))) just be ready to have a kid first of all, and then everything wil become clear with time)))))
Hello Leo! I am the father already, and I think that I can share some of my experience with you. You say that you do not know what to expect, and I know how are you feeling now. I think that is a lack of modern society.. We are using to think more about ourselves,and put our own interests on the first place in all the situations. I think that you afraid that the child will take the part of your "comfort zone", as the psychologist call that, and you are loosing confidence in yourself. You should not be afraid of that. I wrote in the previous post, that all the commitments and the responsibility, that come to your life with the baby, they are not something unnatural and alien in your life. But the things you will really enjoy!
Ben_Roar wrote: I think that you afraid that the child will take the part of your "comfort zone"
that must be that basic fear of the modern parents... we were raised as individualists.. And all the society is based on the thing they call "healthy egoism". That is basically ok, but in some cases this egoism becomes unhealthy) Such people do not understand the fact, that the child is just another part of themselves. It is the highest form of the creation that the human can do. You are creating a new human being, which will be your own reflection in many ways. I think that this idea is very inspiring, at least it is for me. Good that i do not have any kind of fears.. This is a king of the "unknown" I will be glad to plunge into)
you should be ready for the hard work, upbringing the child is not easy at all, during it a lot of parents make mistakes and then they regret about them. in order not t regret that you have done anything wrong you have to think about your methods of raising the child. be ready that your child would not be always calm, he cries, and cries really a lot during the first months. nd he can not tell you why he cries, maybe something aches, maybe he wants something , you just can follow your instincts.
Andreas_Maroon wrote: we were raised as individualists
Yes. There are both positive and negative sides in that. the positive ones are that we started to think more with our own brains, relying less on the stereotypes and dogmas, and that opened the world to us from a completely different point of view. The bad part is that some of the old dogmas that some people despise now were really worth of using in our life. Fir example, the love to the people around.. And to the kids and family. there is even such a thing among the women these days , as "child free"... I would really like to talk with such a woman. And to explain her how silly she is indeed...
It is strange that no one mentioned here the obvious fact, that you should be ready for the reaction of the society. In my opinion, this is the first thing that the gay father should be ready for.. All the child care - is the thing that was practised by the enormous amount of generations, and there are no secrets in it. But we are not usual fathers here. and we all know how does the society treat us. So you must be ready for the awkward questions, startles looks and gossips behind your back. that is the first things that gay fathers should be ready for , in my opinion. You will agree with me, I think?:)
Nice question. You want to know what should you waiting for? I will tell you! Sleepless nights, non-stop crying, diapers, baby food and no time for rest or personal life. So it doesn't matter how old are you, the first child it is always complicated fisycally and mentally. A lot of people give a birth to their child when they are not ready. But still everyone tries to do his best in growing up the kid. It's natural and and I am sure you will cope with all difficulties and there will be much more happiness in your life! Wait for the new step of your life. The most important step I guess so:)
WHen i was just going to become a dad I also asked myself for severa tims, what i should be ready... what i shoud to read before really becomming a dad.. And for some time I felt prity nervous, you know, but when Marry was with us I understood that i can learn in process)
You sjoud be ready of becomming a dad, i guess))) If you want it, then go to the aim and do not pay too much attention to the thoughts of the surrounding, ife is harsh especially for us and we have to fight here) I am not ready for parenting yet, but who knows what can happen tomorrow.
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