Considering the child as a personal and private property, such parents are either too patronize him, trying to immediately satisfy any whim or constantly punishing, feeling him the most violent means of influence, or all sorts of ways to avoid classes with him, giving him complete freedom. At the same time they may sincerely believe in what they are doing it solely for his own good, to help him in the formation of life. Awareness of errors may come too late, when the correct anything in the deformed child's personality is almost impossible. We, as the future or the present parents should be aware of this.
One of the most common types of improper family education is overprotection (overprotection excluding individual characteristics, interests and inclinations of the child, or the construction of even small successes in his rank - upbringing in an "idol of the family"). Overprotective parents expressed in aspiration: to surround the child's increased attention; around to protect him, even if it is not really necessary; accompany his every move; to protect him from possible dangers, which often are the result of the parent's imagination; worry for any reason and without reason;
Fenced children against all difficulties and boring, unpleasant cases, indulging their whims and caprices, the parents, in fact, not so much to bring them as subservient to them. All this can be supplemented by an exaggeration of their abilities and talents, and children grow up in an atmosphere of unrestrained praise and admiration. In this way, it instilled the desire to be always in sight, nothing to know failure, anticipation bright future. But when this happens, the crisis is inevitable. Some try to take all of the desired force, by any unlawful means. I also think that many parents do things like that. And it's wrong.
Many parents try to educate their children as they think necessary. But the mistakes will not bring joy. As a result, long-term overprotective child loses the ability to mobilize their energy in difficult situations, he is waiting for help from adults, and, above all, from their parents; He is developing so-called "learned helplessness" - a habit, conditional reflex reaction to any obstacle as insurmountable. Chance and a sad outcome. Petty control, the desire of parents to take care of everything and make responsible decisions themselves may eventually embitter children and, in maturity, they raise a rebellion against oppression, and if you do not seek relief, they can leave home.
Each child will sooner or later have to start an independent life. And the more it before too patronized, protected, the less he will be prepared by an independent life, the harder it will be to cope with a variety of complex phenomena that are so rich in life. The same negative result in the development of a child's personality can lead pedagogical position of the parents of the opposite character - a strict, to violence, authority over children. Already in early childhood, the child learns all kinds of punishment: for the slightest prank beat him for stupidity - are punished. Sometimes not only punish, but to experience it the most violent means of influence: put in the corner on his knees, threatened by police and beaten with a variety of ways. I think that these parents simply should not have children.
I know something too. Inconsistency demands from adults. Often there is a situation where a family to a child are presented very different requirements, for example, the father is seeking child to clean toys after playing, and his grandmother cleans herself. Most disputes about the correctness of a position are conducted directly with children in the family are the opposing coalition. A child can grow conformist, adapts to the opinions of others. It is also possible disrespect to the parent, whose position the child perceives as unfavorable for himself. I think this is completely wrong.
As for me i know another popular enough mistake. Inconsistency demands from adults. Often there is a situation where a family to a child are presented very different requirements, for example, the father is seeking child to clean toys after playing, and his grandmother cleans herself. Most disputes about the correctness of a position are conducted directly with children in the family are the opposing coalition. A child can grow conformist, adapts to the opinions of others. It is also possible disrespect to the parent, whose position the child perceives as unfavorable for himself. I think this is completely wrong.
I don't mind to talk about different faults and mistakes in upbringing our offsprings, but it is impossible to protect us from future problems. In my opinion, it is better for you to make your own mistakes, which will be more helpful in your life. Try to bring up your child properly. I mean in the way you feel it.
Interesting. The surest way to improve the education of children in the family - the prevention of pedagogical mistakes parents. This in turn implies the realization and proper interpretation of the most typical of them. Common mistakes in family education can be divided into three groups:1) parents' misconceptions about the peculiarities of displays of parental feelings (parental love); 2) lack of psychological competence of parents about child development and age appropriate educational influence his methods; 3) underestimation of the role of personal example of parents and the unity of requirements to the child.
You should not be afraid of making mistakes. common mistakes are the next: worshipping our children, believing our children are perfect, living vicariously through our children, wanting to be our child’s BFF, engaging in competitive parenting, missing the wonder of childhood, raising the child we want, not the child we have, forgetting our actions speak louder than words, judging other parents — and their kids, underestimating CHARACTER. It’s hard to see our children fall, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves whether intervening is in their best interest.
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