what is the opinion of your relatives?

Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:30 pm

Easton wrote: you have to make this decision together.

I am not agree with that. You must make the decision on your own. they can be agree with this decision - and that would be wonderful! They can disagree with your decision, and this is sad. But they will not make the decision. when we were kids, the parents had the commitments to make some decision for us, because that is the role of the parent - to know what does the kid need better, than he knows it itself. But we are not kids any more, and no one can live our lives four ourselves. I am glad that my parents are not against my plans. But if they would be - the plans would not be changed a bit.
Ben_Roar
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Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Ben_Roar » Tue Aug 23, 2016 6:11 pm

the only thing my parents were against - is the idea to adopt the child from South America. They say that there is a big lack of white faces in UK these days to get one more person from a foreign country. We almost had an argue about that, when my father said "We are not racists, we just do not want you to regret about that decision afterwards, when it is going to be too late already". Then I understood the reason of the fuss. And I understood, that when we will do that eventually, and when I will show them the kid, they will love him as much as they love Susan now.
Miller
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Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 4:48 pm

Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Miller » Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:59 pm

I'm happy that my relatives supported me when I and my partner decided to adopt a child. My parents always wanted to make me happy and they want the same now. That's why they were not against this idea. You should just try to talk to them and understand what it means for you to have a baby. For me my children, I have two of them, the most sacred people in my life. They make me live and move forward. They are the best remedies for any disease. They are my air. And as for society. There are always people who are against something, but people still do everything which can make them happy. You will never be perfect for everybody, but you should do everything to be happy!
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Just_R » Thu Aug 25, 2016 3:06 pm

Miller wrote:You will never be perfect for everybody, but you should do everything to be happy!

that is exactly what I mean! Good to see at least one person who shares my opinion on this site) I had a friend time ago. And he was trying to be "good" for everybody. When it came to the conflict between his bride and his mother (that is classics), he was terrible confused and did not know which side to choose. In the end, he lost his bride, and now he is still regretting that. At least this occasion taught him that sometimes you need to act the way you think, despite all the advices and the fear to be disliked by someone. That is the way I live my life, since I was less then 16.
Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
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Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Ben_Roar » Fri Aug 26, 2016 6:33 pm

My father and I had another quarrel about us adopting the kid.. this time it was not about adopting a kind form so far away, but about the adoption at all. And even more then that- about having another kid at all. that really surprised me a lot.. I did not think they had that opinion on this matter. What surprised me the most - is that they were thinking this way for a long time. It is really not typical for them to hold back in such questions. All ended with my promise to think about his words, and to pass them to Mike. but we all know that we are going to do that anyway. Even my dad knows that, he knows me well enough)
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DamonLink
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Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby DamonLink » Sun Aug 28, 2016 6:21 pm

I am dating with my bf for several months and we doid not even talked about the seriousness of our relations.. :D So i guess it is too soon to talk about getting a kid, marriage and more over talking about al this with my and his parents. we are not ready yet. but i guess my parents would be glad. they want to be grannyes :D
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Frank Thomson
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Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Frank Thomson » Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:30 pm

It's so sad when there's no support from the closest people in your life. From one hand they can't exept the fact of 2 fathers in a family, but from the other side they should understand they no one wants to avoid such great opportunity to feel happiness of parenthhood. If they are totally against you adopting a child, you can not mind their opinion as it's for you and your partner to decide, and if they want to show a good example as parents they will make it up.
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:28 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:My father and I had another quarrel about us adopting the kid..

Ben, I really hope that you are not going to give up on this... you are a strong person, and I am sure that you do know what you want. How did it come that your dream, that you were caressing with your husband for a pretty long time can fade only because a quarrel with your father? Perhaps you did not want this so strongly as you thought? Perhaps you are thinking about some other options - or you do not want the second child at all? Think about that. If a person has doubts about something - there is always some basis under those doubts. And this basis may be quite real.
Paul_O
Posts: 140
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Location: Helsinki

Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Paul_O » Sun Sep 04, 2016 11:10 am

Ben_Roar wrote:My father and I had another quarrel about us adopting the kid..

Maybe your father is right? I mean - if such a confident person as yourself started to have doubts about this decision - then perhaps there is some truth in the arguments of your father? when you want to have the kind - you should not be hasty, in my opinion - this is a very serious step. How much time had passed since you got your daughter? Do you really think it is already the time to have another kid? You know - I think I would consult the psychologist on
that matter. To figure out the influence that may have on your daughter - and what in which age would be better to adopt the second kid, if you do already have one.
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: what is the opinion of your relatives?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Sep 05, 2016 6:42 pm

Paul_O wrote:My father and I had another quarrel about us adopting the kid..

Ben, how did it all go? I know your father and Mike a, and I am sure you were able to come to some compromise. As your friend, I would advise you to wait for alittle bit, honestly... You have a great life right now - the one that many people are only dreaming of - and I know that you are a perfectionist.. trying to make it even better. There is an old saying - that good is the enemy of the best.. And I think that you need to wait for alittle bit, else way you may spoil this :good" that you have right now, while trying to make "the best" of it. You do know what I mean.. you always were a smart ass)

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