My family are against my idea of adopting a child. They think it would be a great stress for bab to have two fathers - our society isn't so tolerant as we wish. So how can I convince them? What about your relatives?
Hey, that family is always putting the sticks into the wheels... do you live with your family, do they pay for your bills? If that is not so - then you can "mind" their opinion - respect it, think really hard over it - and do your own way. This question - about adoption - is something that is only for you and your partner to decide. This is a family of your own now - not the part of that family that you were growing up with. You;re the boss here) And tolerance.. there was a time when the society was not tolerant to women in pants - or to women at all. Tell that to people from your family - I am sure that those ones that are against adoption most of all - are women)
the family does have the right to express their opinion about your life - even about your private life. Those are the closest people that we have in our lives. On the other hand - the right to interfere in this private life of yours is something that you may give them - or refuse to give. Your life is for you to build and to make the decisions - and a good family foes understand that. They may really dislike some of your decisions - but in the end, if they really love you, they will accept your decisions. Even if they dont understand you and still will be against it in their hearts when it is already done. My family foes not object when they hear about my orientation and my plans for becoming a father) Lucky me)
You have no need in convincing them in anything - unless you are going to live with them in their place. And if they are not agree with your choice - there is no need to argue as well - I wrote about this in a topic nearby. You have your own way in your life - and if they do love you - they must accept it. You will be a good father, and you will have your husband nearby to help you. Your parents are not involved in that. You will see, that when you do all as you planned - they will just love your grand kid - and you will never return to this topic again! So just be more tough - and stand your ground.
The thing I understood very well in my life is that you can satisfy every person in this world. Always somebody will be against your ideas. But if your parents are against it is rather difficult. Parents are considered to be people who always understand and support their children. You should try to convince them that you’ll be able to come through it. By the way, do you have the partner? If no, maybe it is the reasons of such attitude. But your parents are right when they say that our society isn’t very tolerant to us. So, I can just advise you to talk to them and that is all.
My relatives don’t understand and don’t accept my style of life. I have never had close family relationships with them. I don’t care. I have a boyfriend who always supports me and love me. It is enough for me to live a happy life. We live together, we are not married. I have applied for the surrogacy program and it was successful program. I have a son now. We look for our son together.
My family and the famiy of my husband did not have anything against it. you know first all al parents should support your way of life, and if they do then i guess they woud support also the idea of having a child. it does not mean how, the main thing is to become parents)
Stephan wrote:parents should support your way of life
that is not so in many occasions, unfortunately. I know some people, gays, single and in couples, who's parents do not even want to hear about their kids any more. These guys had to overcome alot of grief. In most cases though, their relations became better. In the end, you cannot stop being a parent to your son, as well as this guy cannot stop being a son to you. It all takes time and efforts to understand. In the end it all comes to the stereotypes and question, what does benefit society. when you see gay couples and their adopted children, you start to question yourself, who really benefits the society more.
I am lucky in this way (if it can be called luck actually), because my parents do not have any influence on my life for a long time already. I am living separately since I was 18, and all the major decisions I made in my life, I made by myself. My parents do know that I am gay, and that we are planning to have a kid trough the surrogacy program. But they never interfered. I can even say that perhaps they do like the idea, because the last time I was talking to my mother she said that she will be anxious to see her grandson. I think that parents are free to express their opinion in such situations, but they cannot make the decisions for you.
Andreas_Maroon wrote:I am lucky in this way
You are not the only one who is lucky here in that way. My parents do support me and my husband, and our little daughter. My parents love Susan very much, they are great grandparents for her. I really feel sorry for those gay couples who dont have such support and understanding from their relatives. It means a lot, when the people that were raising you accept your life choices and support you. I cannot imagine, how the parents of the gay person would be able to reject their grand-kid. That would be really cruel, but that dies happen, unfortunately. Even the closest people can be intolerant.
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