How to share responsibilities during the first year?

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Brendon_L
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Brendon_L » Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:15 am

That is a question, or better to say a probem of you two, guys... Different couples act differently. some make a schedule on weeks, some on monthes, and others in order to earn more money get a nanny and feel plesed with themselves. it depends on what you expect on the parenting. to spend more time with a kid or work.
Just_R
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 17, 2016 3:25 pm

Brendon_L wrote:some make a schedule on weeks

No, that does sound silly for me. I mean, that sounds quite logical, but I do not think that involvement of such formalities as the fixed schedule will do any good to the raising of the child. This is not an office of an IT company, or any other institution, where people only spend the time they have to - and wait for the "last call" to run away from there. The child is the most important part of your life, and you have the desire to dedicate all the time you have to this child. I am not surprised to see when parents are competing on who will spend more time with the kid, but I've never seen a family where parents would be eager to leave the kid ASAP.
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JanisNiv
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby JanisNiv » Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:08 pm

if i were you i would make some kind o a schedule.. or perhaps, as both of us are working seriously, would get also a nanny, to be one more person to help us, when we have to be at work.. But to speak seriously on this topic without realy having a kid is a bit difficult.
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Easton
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Easton » Sun Aug 21, 2016 3:02 pm

i think that it is really very difficult to share the responsibilities during the first year and of course later, because there will be one other which would be responsible for the money and he will have to work more and the other one would have to spend more time with the child and raise him. and in most cases it is a very big problem for the fathers because most of them want to work and bring money for the family, they do not want to change diapers, to feed and everything like that. it is rather difficult. that is why you have to choose who will do it and who will work.
Miller
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Miller » Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:55 pm

I think you should do everything together. Of course the work factor plays an important role. But I don't understand such couples where one does everything about home, and another one just works. Of course, I understand that work takes a lot of time and energy, but still, you should do everything together.
Just_R
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Just_R » Thu Aug 25, 2016 3:10 pm

I remember another occasion in my life, when people "shared" weeks. Though in that case those were not the weeks, but months. Imagine such a happy marriage. He works on the tanker ship, she is a stewardess on the airlines. Both have shifts of aproximately 1 month. that was the way they were raising their kid) The baby saw the parents together only once a month, for a couple of days. I wonder if I would go crazy in that case) But the kid grown up a normal person, so I think there was no permanent psychological damage done.I hope that my kid will not have to experience something like that, nevertheless)
Ben_Roar
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Ben_Roar » Fri Aug 26, 2016 6:28 pm

Just_R wrote:I remember another occasion in my life, when people "shared" weeks.

My godness, and those two managed to have tie for having sex and making the kid?:) I do not know)) I would consider really seriously about having the kid in such a situation at all) Even now, when we do have Susan, my husband still is going to 3 month expedition. But we made the deal, that this will be the last one for the upcoming years. He can have enough job here in England as well. I do not want Susan to know how does he look only by the picture, and who he is only by my explanations) So I really can not imagine how one can raise the child, when he is not at home for half of a year.
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DamonLink
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby DamonLink » Sun Aug 28, 2016 6:24 pm

I have never though about this serious and i guess you do unerstand why :) First of all because it is ot rteally the time for kids. and secondly because it is a serious decision. the thing is here in parenting we are different from hetero. there they have a mom and she is to be with a kid. and in gay couples we are both making money.. so i guess it is more indiviual decision
Just_R
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:31 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:My godness, and those two managed to have tie for having sex and making the kid?:)

Yes, imagine that) Eventually they both retired. It would be better to say that he did retire - and she changed her work, now she is working in the same city. As I said - they have a very good son, and now he is planning to have his own kids. We have 3 years difference. I am sure that some kids do suffer because of such situation in family as he had. Others, perhaps, simply learn the lesson , that the people you love and that may take care of you - they may not be nearby all the time. Perhaps that made him more self confident and more self sufficient.
Paul_O
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Location: Helsinki

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Paul_O » Sun Sep 04, 2016 11:06 am

Ben_Roar wrote:My godness, and those two managed to have tie for having sex and making the kid?:)

I would be surprised with it as well) the thing is that I am from Norway - and the profession of the sailor \ seaman it a traditional one here. that means that many kids do not see their fathers for a long period of time. And they still are really happy. In some way - they love their fathers even more. If these kids would see them all the time - you know, they would not miss them. and when you do miss someone you love- that makes you love that person even more. My father was not a seaman - but I do have many friends, who's fathers were, and they still had a really happy childhood.

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