How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Sep 05, 2016 6:46 pm

Paul_O wrote:I would be surprised with it as well) the thing is that I am from Norway - and the profession of the sailor \ seaman it a traditional one here.

I always though that being a wife of a sailor really means to be his actual "wife" only when he is on the ground.. But as soon as he leaves to the sea - she has another man - at least until the next husbands return.. And the same thing with the husband. I cannot imagine a man not having sex for 9 month... Maybe I am mistaking, of course... But I think there is truth in this point of view.. I would not be able to be in such a couple, I mean - as one of the partners. How would I survive the understanding of the fact, that my husband is sailing with a bunch of tanned and muscled men for 9 month, in the middle of the ocean?:)
Ben_Roar
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Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Ben_Roar » Tue Sep 06, 2016 8:45 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:I always though that being a wife of a sailor really means to be his actual "wife" only when he is on the ground

that is so in many cases, but not all. It is sad to admit, though, that there are less and less women who are really devoted to their husbands, when these husbands do have such a work that needs them to be absent for long period of time.. The sailors, the military. I am sure that 100 years ago, even 50 - couples were more solid - and the time of parting only made their love to be stronger. Today that started to change - and not in a good way, unfortunately. I do not know about gay couples in these regards, though. Maybe we are the same, how do you think, guys?
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Wed Sep 07, 2016 9:11 pm

Ben_Roar wrote: Today that started to change

Maybe so - may be not. I think that there were always difficulties with these kind of relations on the great distance.. But we always had the rules and the ideals that we wanted to follow. Those ideals though were not always followed by all the people. I do not think it is getting really worse right now - rather we started to admit the truth - that people are not perfect - and that the wife will not wait for her husband for such a long time. I think that the main difference between now and those times is that we started to speak about that openly.
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Just_R » Thu Sep 08, 2016 10:25 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote: I think that the main difference between now and those times is that we started to speak about that openly.

Andreas - you do continue to surprise me. And I really do hope that this thinking of yours is connected somehow to the fact that we have been communicating with you here) You are right about that. Actually, if to think widely, I think that the human nature did change during the last century - and in a really good way. We became more human, more kind. that can not be noticed in all the cases, perhaps, but if to look on the whole society - you cannot miss that change. and we started to admit our own flaws. that is the first step to overcoming of these flaws.
V_Vegas
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:38 am

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby V_Vegas » Mon Sep 12, 2016 2:50 pm

Justin - i am sorry, but this is the way I am - and the way I was for a long period of time already - and that is not connected to out communication here) So - speaking about this actual topic - about the responsibilities. Who can tell me, if he ever thought about putting some more responsibilities on his partner, instead of solemnly performing your own part?:) I am sure we all did have a temptation of that kind. I admit that I can be a really lazy ass sometimes. Though I do not know if I am going to show that quality when we are going to have the baby.. i think this will not be suitable in that case)
Samuel Hunt
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Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:19 pm

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Samuel Hunt » Sun Sep 18, 2016 7:03 pm

Yes, it is a kind of a big problem for a young family especially during the first year of having babies. But before getting a baby you have to share your respinsibilities. For example, you give food to a baby, change dispers, do not sleep at night one week then your partner will do the same the next week. Everything is easy!
Just_R
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Just_R » Mon Sep 19, 2016 8:29 pm

V_Vegas wrote: Though I do not know if I am going to show that quality when we are going to have the baby.

I do not think that you are going to do that. Being a lazy ass is the quality that we all do posses in some degree. But that only concerns us and the things that we may do - or may not do.. something that is needed to be done - but that is rather not that important. In the case with the kid - it is all different. You do feel the responsibility, you do feel that this small guy is not going to survive without you - it does depend on your care on hundred percent. In this case you have to be a real son of a b*tch to take your commitments carelessly.
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JackHunter3
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Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby JackHunter3 » Wed Sep 21, 2016 9:05 am

unfortunatelly i haven't had such an experience before and never considered the situation seriously. i mean what should each of parents do.. in heterosexual falies it is more or less clear, women are to look after a kid and dads are making money and that seems quite correct. but here.. well, honestly i am not really sure what is correct. i guess that couple, gay couples should decide themselves who is working and who is looking after a kid. ause when your child is a new born, you do have to be with a child every spare minute you know? ;)
Benjamin123
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Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 8:06 pm

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Benjamin123 » Sat Jul 29, 2017 8:49 am

Hi everybody and everyone here friends. How are you feeling today?? To my mind it is really difficult to share experience in the first years and especially when both partners want to work.i can say it from my personal experience by the way.. Also I should say that Prescott is right that first of all you should both think what you really want and need. You can make a list of responsibilities and exchange them every week. Think about your babies needs and find out who can satisfy them better.
Frankie
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Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:16 pm

Re: How to share responsibilities during the first year?

Postby Frankie » Fri Sep 15, 2017 6:05 am

Here you are boys. How are you doing today??? Are you okey?? I hope so)) it is really important to share responsibilities between each other, because to my mind one person should not do something by himself man. It is not right I even can say.... Basing on my own experience I can say that household duties my partner and I share with the great pleasure we do what we like about our house. I think that in some couples sometimes it happens just because they can not find compromise for example

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