The sharing of responsibilities in the family is always a difficult question and it does not matter whether you have children or not. Often we become hostage to stereotypes, but I believe that we are living in the world where such things as stereotypes have no place because our society is rather progressive. You just need to sit down and talk about everything that bothers you. You need to take in understanding the desire of each partner; in such a way you can show that you respect each other. Of course someone will have to spend more time at home. Therefore, solving the issue take into account who is going to make money in your family.
Adam wrote: is always a difficult question
I tend not to agree with you, Adam. There is a prevailing opinion among young people, that being a parent is something like a trial, like a kind of a slavery, an everyday routine that demands all of your strength and attention, and you cannot see the end of this nightmare. that is not so. And as soon as you are becoming a parent - you do understand it. the truth is, that when you are mature enough to have a kid, you do not take all those commitments and responsibilities as a rock that you need to carry on your back. They come to your life, and take their place smoothly and harmonically. After some time, you cannot even imagine, how were you living without a kid.
Just_R wrote:"Where's the mommy?"
That is a nice one) I would laugh on that question for sure) That is not a way to offend, I think, but an attempt to understand. That is another stereotype that will pursue the gay couples for a long time I think, that there must be that kind of division of the responsibilities : some of them are for the mother, and others for the father. Even the heterosexual couples do not have that kind of straight division of the commitments in the family these days. That was true for the past centuries perhaps, but today the rights and obligations are pretty much equal for the both genders. So this is more amusing then abusing, so to say)
Andreas_Maroon wrote:That is a nice one)
It is indeed) We received such questions, without any hidden meanings, of course. I can hare my experience on this matter... We actually do not "share " the responsibilities between each other with my husband. We both do what is necessary in this particular moment. If I am closer to the baby in this moment, then I will be the one who will change the diapers, for example. Basically, we try to do everything together. And of course we don't have any "mommy" or "daddy" role) We are both mommies and daddies in the same time, and that is really exiting, I must say)
Ben_Roar wrote: We both do what is necessary in this particular moment.
I think this is a correct approach for both homo- and heterosexual couples. We live in the emancipated society, where men and women have both equal rights and responsibilities. Besides, women were the ones who took us to this kind of society, that was their initiative, but there are still lot of women, who think that the rights are the only thing they got. And then these women are getting really disappointed by the life realities. What I am trying to say, is that the time of "mother and father" as they were, had passed, or in the process of passing away. We are parents and we both love our kid, and ready to do anything for it, equally.
i think that you have to share responsibilities not only during the first year but during all the year of your marriage. you have to understand tat it is really very important and you can not do anything alone, or your husband can do anything alone. you have to respect him and yourself. if you can afford yourself to hire the people who may help you then it would be great. you do not have to think about sharing responsibilities. but still you have to help each other in order to be closer.
Guys, I really liked the comment about "who will be the mommy")) I did not hear nothing that funny for a long time) That is a classical stereotype about the gay parents, I think. And there is nothing surprising about that, I think. anyway.. As I know by the experience of my friends, both of them are equally "moms" and "dads" to their child. and that is right.. I mean, they are both equal have the equal possibilities, and it would be logical for them to carry the equal responsibilities. the main thing is for the kid to be happy. Everything else is just minor technical details, as for me.
Paul_O wrote:Guys, I really liked the comment about "who will be the mommy"))
Tips! That was mine) i am glad that I made you smile) .. I really hope that in some years we all will remember such incidents and questions with laugh, and that soon people will use to us. Anyway.. I discussed this question with my fiance, and he completely shares the opinion that we will have equal responsibilities. that is the most logical way, in my opinion) Anyway, no one of us has the boobs to breastfeed the kid - and in the straight couples that is basically the main difference between the mother and father, am I right?:) So I think we will not have any problems with that. Simple common sense.
What can I say! All will happen by itself! If you have normal relation with your partner and you are not arguing everyday and you live quietly peacefully so nothing will change after the childbirth. You both will have to take care of the child and do other kind of staff in rotation. If you really love each other and want to share together the happiness of having a kid, so it only will bring you joy, but not invincible difficulties. By the way, don't forget that you will have 9 month before the birth. Use this time correctly and decide who will change diapers on Mondays hope u have cought my main idea!
You must be sencible in sharing the responsibiities, you know.. it must be ecided without cties and shouts, my friend.. Cause a child was a common decision, so you must decide together) Sit down and make a list or schedule.. Or something ike this in order to be happy)
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