You asked an interesting question. I was lucky in this case - because I always had my sister with her two boys nearby - if I needed an advice. Besides - long before I got my Susan - I was "practising" on my two nephews - so I passed the school of a young father) In my opinion - it is too early for that in our society to ask such questions openly. Any problem that you may encounter - can be discussed with the medical consultant. Besides - there are more then enough materials in the Net, on forums like this one. You cannot mend a kid trough these materials of course - but in regard of some minor issues, like "how to change the diaper" - this is going to work fine)
I have a little baby. I cannot say that it is so difficult to look after a baby. I love him and want to do everything for him. It is not hard for me at all. When I have some questions about a baby, first of all I consult with our pediatrician. If it is not so serious problem I don't hesitate to ask everybody who has even some experience in looking for the babies.
Of caurse!!!!!!!!!! Why not to talk about it with hetero??? I do have several hetero couples with children and i must say they helped us a lot))) they were so supportive, my friend)))) and gave great advice. now our kids are really good friends)
Stephan wrote: I do have several hetero couples with children and I must say they helped us a lot)
Where are you from? You have a better situation with the tolerance that I experience in UK actually. There was a really nasty occasion in London recently.. We were then for some shopping, me, my husband Mike and little Susan. And we did encounter some people who were saying pretty nasty things. Honestly, I did not expect that. There was one hetero couple with a kid of the same age as our daughter.. They did not say anything straight, but I heard the woman saying something like "Shame on them" when they were passing by. Shame on those people, I would rather say...
Ben_Roar wrote:There was a really nasty occasion in London recently..
That is just what I am talking about. So I think for now it is better to stay down.. I do not meant that gay couples need to go deeper underground with their kids, of course) But there is no need to show off, as some people like to do. The gay parades is not a good idea as well. The traditional couples see us as a kind of evil... Especially people who think of themselves as really religious ones) It is strange, but the fact that the kids are happy in the gay families, makes them even more angry. I suppose they are taking it as a kind of a deception, and they cannot admit that kids are simply happy to be loved.
Andreas_Maroon wrote:The traditional couples see us as a kind of evil...
That is not always so, I must say. But you never can tell, how will the people react. That is why you don't want to take any chances by getting in contact with the unfamiliar heterosexual couples. I try not to react on such "bullies" as I described above. I know some quite friendly couples. But I have a feeling, that even though they seem to be tolerant and cheerful, they do feel come discomfort in our presence. I am very subtle person in regards on social behaviour, that is why I try to avoid people, who feel uncomfortable in my presence, but too shy to tell me about that.
Ben_Roar wrote: I try not to react on such "bullies" as I described above.
You are definitely a calm person, and you are able to hold yourself in hands. that is harder for me. When I see that my rights are being violated, I am becoming impulsive and I even try to escalate the conflict, even to maker a fight sometimes. I mean, people have right to disrespect me for who I am , but if they will want to insult me, I would gladly teach them the lesson of what does it mean to live in the modern society. I do not know any other ways to teach them, because the words do not work in this case. People simply do not want to listen and do not want to know. that is sad and irritating.
yes , i think that you definitely have to consult with the experienced couples, because it would be eaiser for you to know what to do further and what you have expect. there are a lot of problematic situations in gay parenting and you have to be ready for them. i do not want to scare you but still, what about the child , i do not think that it is really needed to consult how to raise him. yu do it in your won way, if you think that it is right and your child would be a good person then why not .
Chase wrote: i think that you definitely have to consult with the experienced couples
Well that is obvious) the question is if I should search for an advice among the heterosexual couples. By the way.. I tried to do that recently, and the experience appeared to be not that bad. those were friend of friends of mine.. And I was really glad to figure out that they are pretty tolerant. Even though they are about forty. Anyway, they told me that I am free to consult them whenever I want. they do have 2 kids themselves... I am so happy that I bumped on the couple that was really tolerant! Else way I would have a completely ,different story to tell here. So I advice you to take a chance too..
Paul_O wrote:and the experience appeared to be not that bad.
sometimes you get lucky.. But I do not think that their experience will be so valuable that you will have to take a chance and risk to get acquainted with people who may reject you because of your orientation. I think there is enough info in the internet. And if you want a more qualified help, just ask your medician to give you an advise.. Ask your parents or the parents of your fiance. there are lot of ways. there are lot of people around us who accept us, and who have kids. And there are always places like this forum, where you can always get a tip for free) So do not be shy to ask!
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