Heterosexual parental experience

Paul_O
Posts: 140
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Location: Helsinki

Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Paul_O » Wed Jul 13, 2016 10:19 am

Hello everyone!
I am thinking about becoming a father.. And I see that there's lot of info about surrogate motherhood and adoption here on the forum. But I am also worried about what to do afterwards... "Obtaining" the child is only the start of the way - but raising it is the long and delicate way... Especially when you have a small baby. How do you think, is it worth to consult with traditional couples about the ways to raise a child? Did anyone have that kind of experience here?
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Endi
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Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Endi » Thu Jul 14, 2016 1:50 pm

personally i do not have any experience in it because i am not a dad yet but i think that it is very important to be a good example for your child. i do not think that it is really good to be lenient but to be too strict is also not very good. you should find the balance and see whether you are doing everything right or not. try to talk a lot to your child, if you see he behaves badly then ask him why he did it.try to explain to him what is good and what is bad and you would have the best child.
Adam
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Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Adam » Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:30 pm

You see the process of upbringing is difficult for both: homosexual and heterosexual couples. But the thing is that you can always consult people. The problem is that fathers are afraid to ask for help and it is bad. Remember that there are a lot of people who can give the answers and I'm one of them! To raise a child is difficult but it is really worth of all the efforts!
Last edited by Adam on Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Garis
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Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Garis » Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:47 pm

I think that any couple has passed a special test graduate a school of upbringing children before starting a family. It is natural process. You shouldn’t be so scared about it. You have seen in your life how parents behave with their children. I think you have contacted with children in your life and certainly know how to do it.
Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Paul_O » Fri Jul 15, 2016 6:07 am

Garis wrote:I think that any couple has passed a special test graduate a school of upbringing children before starting a family.


Oh, thanks - wil, you tell me the address of the school then- I will be a good student)) You did not mean that literally, didn't you?:) Thanks for the advices, anyway.. I suppose that I really have some kind of an unconscious opinion that a man must be able to do all by himself - and must not ask for the advices.. I think I need to overcome that. What I am afraid is just that if I will ask advice of women - or heterosexual couples - I dont think their reaction will be adequate. Maybe I am wrong - but I've seen too many examples of non tolerant behaviour in my life to feel comfortable asking for these advices. Things changed, I hope.
Martin_T
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Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 10:35 am

Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Martin_T » Fri Jul 15, 2016 10:53 am

I think you don't need this! First of all, when you have a baby you fell a kind of parenting instinct that helps you in your life. Secondly, if you really need support or advice you'd better consult homosexual couples or special family centres. There is anything bad in consulting heterosexual couples, but, you see, our world is sometimes cruel and there are a lot of people who are against us and are more even against the fact that homosexuals want to have babies. I think it's really bad. That's why try to find support and understanding among your relatives and friends. But it's only my point of view!
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Garis
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Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Garis » Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:02 pm

Surely, you will!)When I become an experienced father I will give you some lessons)) I think It is ok to ask woman for a piece of advice about taking care of children. I think any woman will refuse to help you. They have babies and know pretty well how it is. And stay yourself. I see any problem in asking for advice.;)
Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Jul 18, 2016 11:08 am

I would not risk doing that honestly) Perhaps I am thinking too bad about people - but I had experiences that taught me that is it better to conceal who you are, in terms of orientation - especially concerning such sensitive matters as parenting... People already accept the very idea of homosexuals, more or less. But homosexual parents - it is something brand new for our society - and this society accepts all new things very difficultly. So if you need an advice in your dad experience - better to consult the type of couples that you belong to yourself. Smaller risk to hear things you would not really like to hear)
Just_R
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby Just_R » Tue Jul 19, 2016 9:07 am

I see that I am the only lucky guy here, who has such a heterosexual couple in his "disposal")) Those are good friends of mine - and when I will have a kid - I will rely strongly upon their advices and maybe even surveillance in some ways) I know - I am lucky - and I appreciate it. Though if I would not have known these people - I would not take a chance asking for advices from hetero couples. Because we all know their usual reaction. On the other hand - there are lot of net forums - and you are absolutely anonymous there - so you dont need to be acquainted to the people you are asking advices.
V_Vegas
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:38 am

Re: Heterosexual parental experience

Postby V_Vegas » Wed Jul 20, 2016 10:53 am

Just_R wrote:I see that I am the only lucky guy here

You are , actually, not) I am the lucky one - since I have a gay couple with the kid in my disposal) The tolerance depends on the age, on the area... I noticed that big cities are always more tolerant and cosmopolitan, then smaller towns, not even mentioning the countryside, where traditions have the longest living expectancy. Also, people are more tolerant in younger age. Not even try to explain anything to a guy who is in his sixties after telling him that you are gay. Anyway, I think it is better not speak about this matter with the couples that you dont know. For many of them this would not be a common conversation - not as if they would have it with a similar heterosexual couple.

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