You will not be sure until you do it. Everyone have doubts about being parents. You can say you that this is a hard work, sleepless nights, huge responsibility, quarrels between parents and many many problems. Just believe in yourself. Think about the positive points of being a parent. First word of your kid, first step, his successes, his achievements. Imagine how you do fishing with your son or teaching your daughter how to cook. Imagine this, take your partner's hand and say him: "We can do it". Then do your right choice
Ben_Roar wrote: this is not a thing you "might" do, but the thing that you must do!
Yes Ben, you are old fashioned indeed) I do not think that anyone "must" have the kind, I mean as paying some kind of a debt to someone) We are all free in our choice.. For now at least. That is why I am glad to live in this historical period : people never had this amount of freedom ever before. the times we are living in are pretty strange though. Have you heard about a new "type" of women, who call themselves "child free"? That is a new kind of a lifestyle. they do not want to have kids at all. If to speak about some kind of the "debt" to the society or nature, women are definitely the ones who do carry that debt.
i think that you do not have to have the doubts in yourself, and just have the child. of course i understand that you do not for sure whether you are ready. because you think that ti may e really very difficult and you would not succeed , ti is a very log process and everything like that. i know what it is like because my head was full of these thoughts. but still i knew that i wanted the child, and even if i were not ready it was not important. now i really understand how stupid i was.
Andreas_Maroon wrote: I do not think that anyone "must" have the kid,
i am agree with you.. there is no such word as "must" in our lives, I think, at all.. We are willing to do what we want, and we will face the consequences by ourselves. the main thing is to carry the full responsibility for your decisions. so if you have the kid, and you started to have the thoughts like "maybe it was too early for this" you must shut up, and raise your kid. You lost the right for any kind of doubts of that kind , when you got the kid. That is why I repeat, that if you do have some doubts about having the kid, you should wait. You are still young, you still have the time.
Paul_O wrote: there is no such word as "must" in our lives,
Agree on that.. though how did you come to this conclusions in this kind of topic? I suppose you were having a discussion about some life goals? I am so surprised to see such an amount of the philosophers here! Guys, just loomat yourself You were given a question about the changing of diapers - and you are ending up with the discussion about the sense of life)) You are really boring.. in a good way) I like to think about such things as well. Thoguh speaking about this topic.. Hey dude, are you decided already if you are ready or not? Did you gain enough wisdom here already?:)
This is very important step in your life and of course both of you should be ready for such kind of changes and must know for sure that the kid will be happy with you. Ask yourself a few questions. The first question:" could I live without a baby?" If the answer is " yes" so you are not ready! Because the baby should be wanted! Otherwise, what's the point? The second question:" can I give the kid everything he needs? This question is really important because if you have not the possibility to grow up the children in the best conditions so it is not the Igbo time then. Think about that!
Well you know, i think you either feel it or not.. want it or not, i mean a baby.. if you have some doubts, even if they are minor, it is a sign that you are not really ready to become a parent.. or maybe it is just a simple fear and you have to overcome it, by really getting a kid)
Well noone except you can say how to be sure about having or not a baby... what is the question here.. do you really think that someone here, out of us can simply say, yes man you are ready??? Of caurse not. ask yourself first of al, then your partner and decide togather.
Hey, Florian, I you already sure, or you are still reading these controversial comments here on the forum?) you better decide fast, the time is running.. no kid would like to have a dad in the age of fifty)) Anyway. It is useless just to stand on one place because of the uncertainty. you need to make an adult consideration, if you are ready r if you are not. If you want that or if you do not. Usually, when people say they are not ready, that means that they are ready, they want, but they are afraid. You need to overcome your fear then, or it will grow with time, becoming larger and larger.
I guess we are not advisors here, man.. it is your personal desire.. it is up to you whether you feel it or not... I guess you must clearly understand and feel the wish inside, you must really desire to become a dad to become responsible for somebody's life)
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