I think this case proves that co-parenting agreement is a really useful thing. When sign co-parenting agreement with your partner you will never meet such problem. You will have equal paternal rights with your partner and will see a child whenever you want. Does he not understand that his behavior hurts child’s feelings? I think child miss you too.
Did you try to solve this situation trough the court? I mean - if you were legally married - then this is a matter of legal decision, not just a whim. If you were living together for that long - the child must have a had an emotional bond to you as well - and it would be a stress to him just to break this connection so abruptly? By the way - during all this time - did the child communicate with his mother? And did you communicate with her? I would really like to know her attitude towards all the situation... How would she treat the fact that her child is in that kind of situation right now.
I've also heard that if you and your partner are really legally married then you have the right to decide everything in court! Moreover, I've read about such cases when fathers with the situations similar to your won and get their babies back! But if you are not legally married, then I can advise you to talk to your ex, to a biological mother. Maybe you sholud ask your friend and relatives to do it as well. We are all people and if we want to solve something we should talk. So, the first thing you should do is to make you ex listen to you and talk. I wish you luck! Don't give up!
What a horrable situation you are in... And what about low? Are you an official parent for this child or you just grow him up without any documents? May be you should have a process with your ex and divide your parent's duties? Probably you have some witnesses that you are a great father and love this child very much. And how old is a kid? Could he decide by himself whom should he communicate with? Anyway, don't give up - even if now you can do nothing with it, in a few years this situation will be decided. As you really love this child he will remember you and becoming elder he will contact you himself.
I think you should give some time to your ex boyfriend. Also it'll be good to talk to him and explain that the fact that you're not together anymore can affect greatly your child. You can also visit a psychologist to try to make everything clear. But don't give up. I believe that you and your ex both want your child to be happy and sooner or later you'll find the way out!
Martin_T wrote:talk to your ex, to a biological mother.
The first idea seems to be good - the second does not seem to be quite that good) To talk to your ex - means to talk with the person that you were close with - that shared mutual love with you - and with whom you may have a chance to get some understanding and compassion, even though you broke up. If you did not end up hating each other, of course. And speaking with the biological mother - that would be a bad ides. If I got the situation correctly - she would be the one who would have reasons to dislike you much. And more then that - I am sure that she is not tolerant.. So it is better to stay away.
Well, i do understand you, perhaps not to the fullest, but i know what does it mean to be a dad and how to ove the kid... when you got used to the thought of having this kid around and then he is gone... it must be a torture. i am really sorry you are feeling it and unfortunately cannot say you nothing better than this(
i do not think that you may get this child back because it is not you child and you have to understand it. of course i understand that it is your child and you got used to him, you love him and everything like that but i think that you just have to talk with your ex-husband and ask him to meet the son from time to time. i do not know whether he is a good person, but if not then i think that he will not allow you to see him. if i were in his shoes i would not allow my ex-husband to see my son.
Chase wrote:i do not think that you may get this child back because it is not you child and you have to understand it
there's a point in that... this is a complicated situation.. but when it comes to the situations of that kind, eventually, the question of blood and genetic bonds plays the ultimate part. So if your ex really forbids you to see the kid, you should let it go. I think that if this kid really loved you as much as you say you love him, he will come back to see you when he will grow up enough.. And if that is not so - then he was not as close to you as you were thinking, perhaps. Anyway, do not be sad. the kid is in the good hands, he is safe and happy. I hope that will make you feel a little bit better:)
If the situation is the way that I imagine it, then you have no other choice but to obey the decision of his biological father. Yes, I am agree with you, that may be cruel towards you.. But I suppose he does have his reasons for that. It may hurt. You need to learn t overcome such things in your life. That is hard, I know. Maybe you should try to talk with your ex again? Often people make cruel decisions only on the crest of an emotional outburst. And when the emotions will calm down, they may change their decision. I do not think that he really wanted to hurt you.. Try to call him again.
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