Self-confidence rises out of a sense of competence. In other words, kids develop confidence not because parents tell them they're great, but because of their achievements, big and small. Sure, it's good to hear encouraging words from parents. But words of praise mean more when they refer to a child's specific efforts or new abilities.
florian wrote: In other words, kids develop confidence not because parents tell them they're great, but because of their achievements, big and small.
I think you are not completely right. the kids do care alot when they parents admit their achievements. Actually, if parents do not do that, the kid simply does not understand that something he had done is actually an achievement. Have you ever seen a kid in the school, who would really like to study only cause he is gaining knowledge? Yes, perhaps there are some of that kind. But most part of kids are simply happy because their parents will cheer them , and will say that they were really good. So you must not underestimate the necessity of constant support and cheering kids achievements.
I know what you mean from my own experience. in my childhoo I was too silent and ull o complexes. i considered my lie to be too bad and everything simply went wrong... but you know the main reason here is that you, like family can be just as a bridge for finding way out, but not more...
Whenever we punish, threaten, blame, suppressing our love, we call in the children a sense of fear. Fear destroys the spirit and makes children feel their inferiority. Children need to feel our love without any conditionality; feel that they do not need to specifically do anything to earn it - getting good grades in school, clean up in his room, and so on. You can’t teach self-reliance, we can only provide opportunities for the child for developing it. The child will never learn to get up in time in the morning, if we every day wake him up ourselves. You should pay special attention to the fact that the responsibility you put on your child instills in the child self-confidence.
first of all, if you want to help put yourself in the place of a baby who spends many hours a day in a caregiver’s arms, is worn in a sling, breastfed on cue, and her cries are sensitively responded to. how would you act in the situation, and when you find the answer, then you'll know how to help.
Miller wrote: Fear destroys the spirit and makes children feel their inferiority.
you are right about that. And you are right about the responsibility. As soon as my small Susan will be able to walk and talk, I will start to give her some lessons of self discipline. I think that if you do that from the earliest years of the child's life, the kid will achieve much more in it's future. It will not have to fight the unconfidence and laziness, if you will raise it with the right habits. That was the was the way my dad raised me, and these days I am more than thankful to him. I am not speaking of spanking here.. I think I do have a personality strong enough not to use that stuff.
one of the main things you can do is to say your kid how unique and idental he is. you see all kids try to be simmilar to somebody, just because they do not see themseves as leaders.. they think they are worse than others. and your task as a parent is to show your kid he is great and a leader just as he is. he is the best and he will believe
i think tat you shall always tell him that he is smart, that he is strong and he would be able to do everything in his life. i am sure that you would succeed and everything would be really alright. you just have to motivate your child and what is the most important you have to praise your child. i think that it really plays very important role for him. i hope that i have helped you and you would be able to help your child to improve his confidence. i think that it is rather important question for the child not only now but also it would be so in the future. good luck.
well i do not even know, i think that it may be hard for you to do it because if your child is not confident then you can not change it but i think that you shall try to help your child and i think that it would be possible to change the character of the child, but of course i do not think that it would be possible to change it completely and i think that you know what i am talking about and i think that you understand it the thing that i can tell you about it and i can tell you about everything is that you shall always support your child and you shall always help your child.
Glad to write here for all of you who are here on this website!! To my mind it would be really the best to help the child to feel his own importance is possible through the development of self-reliance. You can make a checklist of responsibilities and require compliance. In no case do not do for the child what he can do for himself, even if sometimes slowly, or not at all good. Particular attention should be paid to the child 's responsibility for independent action. Try to be always with children!!
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