This year my son is going to school for the first time. And I've heard that it can be difficult for both for a child and his parents. But I understand that school is a very important thing and we can't avoid it. When my child went to the kindergarten for the first time I spend all the day near that building. All the week my child cried but the next week he stopped but I started to feel a bit different. So, my question is who I can become ready for all the troubles of school. How can I get rid of my fears? How can I help my child to feel safe and happy at school? Do you have any ideas?
When your child enters a new environment filled with unfamiliar people it can cause anxiety for children and their parents as well! For parents even more. I can give you some pieces of advice which helped me a lot. First of all you should teach your child some elementary skills. Before the school time I visited school and classroom with my kid several times. Also we got to know our teachers. We also created our own ritual: we rubbed noses and then hugged. Also it is necessary to show your child that you don’t worry. And for the fact that children forget about their fears faster than their parents it is really so. But you have to be ready because in future you’ll have to let your child go.
Richard, I am sure that your kid will not cry in the school) This is a very sensitive matter. School gives kids not only the knowledge that were collected by human kind during its history. It also gives the child the social experience and forms his behaviour, social habits. It is important to know the limit up to which you can interfere in that process. In this age kid starts to learn the life by himself, with no mommy or daddy beside him. If you will assist him too much - you will limit his opportunity to develop his own strength and abilities. I advise you not to worry that much. this is only school, not a jail-house)
Whatever you do, I guess you cannot be with your child forever, even at school a kid must receive his own place himself or herself. you cannot make it for him. i guess the only thing you can do is to be near and to help emotionaly, with talks and support, but not to run every time he or she has a problem there.
You can do several things to help your child to adjust to school. First of all you can introduce the child to the place where he will spend many years, it will help to ease his experience and also you can have a test day. Relationship with the teacher helps the child to understand that the school he has somebody he can rely on. And it also may help parents to get rid of a all the fears. Arrange with parents of future classmates children's holiday, go with a son or daughter for school uniforms and all necessary details, in short, transform the beginning of the school year in a real event. If it is difficult for your child to part with you, tell him that you love him, but leave as soon as the teacher will guide him in class.
I hope that your kid will not cry all the first week in the school - that makes a nasty reputation among local fellows) Though I think there are always some kids that are bounded to their parents too much. You know - it is really easy to recognize that type of kids. they always try to stay closer to mom or dad.. And there is other type, those ones that make their parents chase after them, and they do not notice if the parents are anywhere around for a hour, just minding their own business. I think such people benefit in the future life, since they show that kind of independence from the early age.
Hello Richard! You are speaking about becoming ready for all the troubles of school as if you are the one who will have his first day at school in September, not your kid) Do not worry about such things. there are much more positive things in the school, then bad ones, and I am sure that your kid will be pretty much exited about it. What are you afraid of? That your son will be bullied by his classmates maybe? That is not good of course, bot on the other hand this will be a good occasion to teach him how he should protect himself. A lesson that is better to learn in childhood, when all can go not further, then punches with tiny fists.
of course i know that the first day of school i really very worrying for the child and of course i understand the reason of it. he does not know what he faces, he thinks that it is a great problem. it is a new society and not all children are prepared for it. thy are afraid of all the difficulties. there are a lot fo different people and children whom they do not know. you just have to be always with your child and when he is scared to to make him confident and do not shout at him if he does not know anything.
Ben_Roar wrote: What are you afraid of?
He is afraid that his child will be there alone , for the first time in its life.. I can understand that fear! It is completely natural, and he does not need to be ashamed of that. The father I mean) the kid as well, by the way. Many kids do afraid to go to school. First time. And then it is hard for you to take them back home... That is always so, even in the adult life. the things that you fear most of all - they are becoming your favourite things to do as soon as you are overcoming this fear. So there is nothing to be afraid of here, neither for the father, nor for the child. Enjoy some free time, while the kid is at the school)
I think that you cannot make your kid feel any better ion the school then he actually does. .i mean, you cannot sit with him there during all the lessons, right?:) the school is a very important thing, because that is the first step to the separate life, that does not depend on the parents and cannot be controlled by them. I mean, the parents cannot influence on the social relations that are being formed between the kids. that is their separate world. All you can do is to tell him that you love him, and that you will be glad if he will have good marks, I suppose) Hope that will be enough))
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