The issue of education has a very important place in every family where children which have children. What the punishment is and what place it occupies in the education system knows every parent, but its full effects and the classification know already fewer families. Everyone knows that if the child does not listen, you can simply hit him or shout at him. And what are the other types of punishment? What impact do they have on our children?
That kind of punishment that can be found in different families. Physical punishment (aggression). Verbal aggression. Punishment natural consequences. Lock deviant behavior. Deprivation of parental love. Limitation of activity of the child. Emotional pressure. An appeal to the sense of guilt. Deprivation of rewards and benefits. Compulsion. Deferred conflict. Logical arguments and explanations. Only the first three methods of punishment are productive and give a positive response from the child. For optimal efficiency, you must follow a few rules in the punishment of the child. The punishment should be proportionate to the age and severity of the child's fault. Postpone the punishment - it means forming a child's anxiety, fear and depression - is a way to neurosis. You can not punish the children, arriving in a state of excitement. Punishing should one parent, no coalitions against children.
In my opinion, the punishment must be the last resort. Besides, I think that it should not be used to form the reflex - if you will do this - I will hurt you. In my opinion, it should be used rather as the tool for turning the attention of the kid to the words, to your explanation why should not he do this or that. then the kid will be controlled with his own common sense, rather then with the fear. that will create a good basis for the forming of a healthy and self confident personality. You are not going to build anything good, basing on fear - I can assure you in that)
Hm... "The types of punishments for the kids".. You know- that sounds for me as the title for the handbook of the inquisitor) there are different types? I hope you did not invent them yourself, dude?:) As for me - i think that the best way is something that was proven by ages... the spanking.. What else? The whips and the iron maiden?:) I know that I am going to punish my kid only if there will be no other choice, that means, when all other methods of influence will be proven to be inadequate. Of course, there are many types of psychological punishments, but I am not strong in that.
Each of the parents must act in accordance with its rules and notions of right and wrong, however, to develop a common educational methodology - the key to successful education. If any item you cannot agree, it is not necessary to argue and discuss them with the child, and even more so - to speak out critically against the spouse. Moreover, it is not necessary to turn the child's misconduct in the public domain - no discussions with friends and their own parents. Observances of family secrets are more likely to contribute to non-repetition of the act, because the child thus receives non-verbal information from the parent that he believes in individuality and randomness of the offense.
Miller wrote:Each of the parents must act in accordance with its rules and notions of right and wrong, however, to develop a common educational methodology - the key to successful education.
You are writing in a really scientific way , are you a psychologist? Maybe you could advise some books to read on this matter? i think that I am not too strong in punishments, even though I was born in Italy - the motherland of the Inquisition) Thinking about this, I think I would rather not use any kind of the physical influence.. That is the last resort in any situation - from the raising of the kid and to the quarrel in the bar. When I was small - my parents did not reprimand me much, so I did not have any kind of the "school" on this subject))
I see it like adapting to the age and personality of a child. Parents are sure to know that beating a teenager will bring even more violence and long and sincere talk with a baby or limit for him of games only boredom. So the first classification is sure punishment for babies, schoolchildren and teenagers. But the same punishment for one child will really help him to understand he was wrong in a situation. While for another child it will do no good. For example a child spoilt a ball. You are going to punish and not buy him a ball for a week. It can be unbearable for a future football player if it was the only ball of his. At the same time if a child has lots of friends and has an opportunity to play outside with others it doesn’t look like a punishment at all. So as many children as many punishment exist.
I would prefer to avoid the physical types of the punishment.. I would only use them as the tool to draw the attention of the kid.. sometimes the kids have kinds of tantrums that you cannot stop any way except giving them a slap) Speaking about other kinds of punishments.. The psychological means of influence are really effective, when you know how to use them, till some age, of course. but if to use that wisely when the kid is small - there would be no need for them in the older age. You need to teach the kid, that even your disapproval is a kind of punishment. and it must work.
Just_R wrote:You need to teach the kid, that even your disapproval is a kind of punishment. and it must work.
I know what you mean. The reprimand is the kind of the punishment as well But it is the same as it is with the physical punishments. You should not overdo it. the same way as you may maim the kid by hitting it - you may maim his psychics if you are going to put too much pressure on him. He will not say thanks to you for that when he is going to grow up, you know) So I would prefer the kid to respect me, rather then to fear.. that will always have much better result.. when the kid is going to trust me to decide, what should he do and what he should not do.
I remember when I was small - i was not punished for anything in anyway. I mean, starting from the age of 10 years perhaps. the reason for that was pretty trivial - my parents seemed not to care about me much, and in my "education" they relied completely on the genes that I inherited from them - at leas that is the way I see the reasons of their behaviour) But in my case that did show some pretty descent results - I can say that I do like the way I am now - and I am not alone in that opinion of mine) So in my case their carelessness did not do such a bad job. But I will not behave myself the same way with my kid - that is for sure.
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