In young children, there is a time when short I do not get away their language: "I run faster than anyone," "I draw better than anyone," "I can fastest swim across the river," "I'm not afraid of anything." It still is not conceit, not bragging, and the need to assert their power and the desire to do something, and another, and the third. But this naive behavior very often can quickly turn into selfishness and conceit. How not to miss the golden time that the child will not grow up selfish?
I would not really call it selfishness, i'd say they are just too accurate and feel where they can get what they want and where they need to do something in order his parent give him a desirable thing But if you talk that they need all our attention, then yes, it is so. but when you decide to get a kid, you must ubnderstand that most of your time will be spent on them.
Being selfish is awesome! Look at me - I am selfish, and I am awesome! There must be a political party of selfishness.. . And the slogan. "Do not sell fish - be selfish!")). Ok, just kidding) Not being selfish - is something that the kid learns in the communication with other kids, and with other people as well, since you can be "selfish" only towards someone. when you see that your kid does not want to give a toy to someone, for example, ask him to do that - and then ask that other kid to do something for your kid. I do not know, I think you should start from such simple things. When more complicated situations will come - you will be able to speak with tour kid on a higher level of understanding of relations, he will be older at that time.
Selfish traits begin to be shown in the child when the parents satisfy all his whims and caprices, seeking to create a happy childhood for him. They load him with presents, toys, give the most delicious, indulging his "buy, want to bring." When the child is small, it does not weigh the tyranny of parents, but rather pleasantly amused. But the child grows. Funny whims become resistant traits. Growing demands and needs change from toys to expensive things: a camera, a fashionable coat, bicycle, pocket money. Harmless "want to" turns into extortion. Therefore, from the very childhood parent does not need to indulge a child, but simply to educate.
Parents should monitor the behavior of their children at home, and in the children's collective. If you notice that your child's selfish traits appear quite often, and then think about the fact - if you give him an opportunity to take care of others? Do not assume that a child will understand everything when older. Selfishness - is a character trait that is cultivated, nurtured by parents and pesto, so that the "fruit" in the form of child-infantile has to reap the parents, and of all those who will continue to meet on its path of life. The child really can become infantile. Such a child is granted, it accepts all attentions and care close to himself and would never show such concern for others. The experience of such a child has never been a situation in which he would have had to make his own decisions and act - always thinking of him, and the parents have decided to act.
Dude, I think it does depend on what do you mean by the "selfishness" here. I do not think that kids really can be generous in the small age. Generosity, selfishness sacrifice - those are the words and ideas, the meaning of which we start to understand only in the older age, and you should not demand from a child to show any of those virtues . When he is going to grow up a little bit - you can tell him about that, about the social behaviour, about the help to each other. While he is still small - I think it is pretty much useless to try to explain him things of thta sort.
Selfishness is rather bad feature of people's characters, no one wants to have deal with selfish person and our job as parents to prevent such situations. I really don't know why children wants to show their priority in something but maybe in adult life this feature makes us not only selfishness but competitiveness. Tender treatment and explaining what is good and what is bad may help in future. Play with your child some competative gmve, do not give up, don't let the childto win, that's can be an example that in life you can be both winner and loser and there's nothing to shame.
Frank Thomson wrote:Selfishness is rather bad feature of people's characters, no one wants to have deal with selfish person and our job as parents to prevent such situations
I am not completely agree with you. there is such ting as the "healthy" measure of selfishness. We all have it, and it is good. We have to put the priorities in our life. there are things that we like more, there are things that we like less. there are people whom we are ready to stand for - and those ones whom we do not care about. Being a little bit selfish helps you to understand your place in your world. Being too selfish is bad, of course. But the trick is that each person defines for itself, where is the border between those two kinds of selfishness.
It is very important in this case to find the balance between the encouragement of the kids achievements, and the restrain from being too self sufficient. I think it would be wise to tell him that he had done really well, but there are people who can do this better then he. And to tell him that there is nothing bad about it. I always thought that you should not do anything just to prove something to yourself or to someone else.. To be the best in some sport, or art.. You should do it if you are getting the pleasure from the very process. Then you will achieve the real mastery .
Paul_O wrote:It is very important in this case to find the balance between the encouragement of the kids achievements, and the restrain from being too self sufficient.
that is a pretty hard task. but if you've done it correctly, your kid will grow up a balanced and self sufficient person. there are many kids who were reprimanded too much by their parents, who were living under the constant pressure. that made some of them to become stronger, of course - but there were many, who broke up - and who were living with the feeling of self defectiveness all their life. there are other ones - who were indulged by their parents all the time, whatever they did. and we can see this kids turning to little - and then big tyrants, who never care about anyone else's opinion.
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