At what age does appear friendly affection? In friendship, as in love, there is a mystery. It is easier to explain it with examples, than to get to the hidden mechanisms of making friends by children. I know that the need to communicate with peers in a child occurs very early, first declaring itself in the third year of life. Then there are the first problems with peers. How to help a child become more communicative and how to make the communicating process easier? I just want that my child doesn’t’ have problems while making friends with other children!
i guess it appears in the early age. kids are better in friendship and i do think they get who is who even earlier than most of other people in the world. You may be three or four and you can see how such kids just come up and ask the name, then suggest to have a walk and play with those kids... it is so simple i guess
I do not think you need to make a problem of that. How to make your kid communicative? Let it meet with other kids, that is all. Meet other couples with the kids, and let them play together. then it will be the kindergarten, school. This all goes naturally, and I really hope that there will be no books like "How to make your baby more communicative - for dummies". I got sick of all that psychological literature already) Soon we will forget how to do the easiest things and how to behave in the simplest situations) Leave your kid alone - he knows how to make friends better, then you do)
For 2-3-year-old kid that's fine. With such contradictory behavior usually begins childhood contacts. A child runs to his peers, but is still unable to overcome their children's selfishness, to agree on mutually acceptable conditions of the game. At this age, children are situational contacts, insipid and often conflicted. They would rather play alongside each in their own, rarely appreciating the game, or neighbor for a short while to connect to it. Over time, with the help of an adult baby learns the rules of playing together. A child grows up, everything is changing, and changing the rules that help to make new acquaintances.
A child cannot do without peers, but his contact with them without the help of adults is almost always has little success. Of course, the very first lessons are communication in the family, but it cannot be limited. Sometimes in relationships with other children need to intervene directly: the child should be taught how to adequately out of the conflict situation, to tolerate, to distinguish between acceptable and unacceptable impact on the aggressive peers. The unpreparedness of our children to social collisions, first emerging in front of them, is obvious. So, you is the first person who can help your child in communication with others.
A friendship, the same as love - is something that comes by itself. We can not control it. All that we can do - is to teach the kid how to behave himself to be accepted in the society, but without oppressing his own special traits of character, of course. And the friendship, as love - will come in its proper time, as it always does. Pardon me for such a rude comparison, but it is like breathing or urinating - it is a natural thing that you do not need to learn. You know how to do that already. In this case these are social reflexes, rather the physiological. But the point is the same.
I do not think that you should "help" the kid with this, especially in such young age. This is something that just happens by itself. All you can do to help is to take kid to some social events, where he will have the opportunity to communicate. And I think it would be wise for you to teach him to communicate with older people as well. Else way he will have the psychological barrier of the "age hierarchy", when he will be shy and confused while communication with people of the older age - and that trait is going to bother him all his life. But I would not worry about the communication and friendship with his coevals.
Paul_O wrote: And I think it would be wise for you to teach him to communicate with older people as well. Else way he will have the psychological barrier of the "age hierarchy",
Oh, I do know what you are speaking about really well) That is what I have in my head, I must confess... My parents taught me to respect the older people, does not matter how silly they might be. When I grew up, I saw how the things really are, but it was already to late. Now it is always hard for me to argue about something with the person who is older then me - because this habit in my head tells me that I am not right, even if the common sense tells me the opposite) It is always this way with the habits - as you are getting older - it becomes harder to overcome it.
You can not worry about the friendship. It is the most natural thing for us, people... We always were creating the societies. So it is the essential thing for us to be among other people - and to find our place in the society. First you do have the small model of this society - the kindergarten, then school - and eventually the kid grows up and gets to the real society. You need to encourage your kid to communicate. not to be shy, not to afraid to make new connections, to meet new people and to make his own judgements on whom does he like and whom he does not like.
I did have lot of friends when I was small. As the time had passed, I found less and less things in common between me and the people who were my friends. We started to show interest in different things, some things about my former friend started to annoy me. Now I have only several good friends. And I think it is the same way with all of us. That is why it is good to make the kid to socialize more. When he will have lot of friends in the childhood - that will be the guarantee that he will have the best of them, when all the others will pass away from his life.
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