I am agree about the cheating. If the person cheated on me - there can be no speaking of the healing period at all. I can only speak of the period, after which I will be able to speak with this person again. That is several years , I think, minimum. Though in such cases it is even a little bit easier. Because if the person cheated on you, you dont have to think "what if.." .. To think that perhaps you could save those relations and things of that sort. The cheating is a big black dot in the relations for me. And you can simply move on with your life, even with the pain in the heart. Nothing holds you back.
Last edited by Andreas_Maroon on Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Andreas_Maroon wrote: If the person cleated on me - there can be no speaking of the healing period at all.
That sounds very .. imutable. But I think that there are different situations in life. And you cannot divide all of them on "black" and "white" groups, so to say. We see alot of such situations both in life, and in movies... in the books. The Casablanca movie, for example. First, you take the character of Ingrid Bergman for a shallow person, because of the way she acted in the Paris episode. But eventually the movie shows us the real state of things - and you have to reconsider. The same thing happens in life. People say that there are always two people in the couple, that are responsible for its breakup, and I tend to agree with that.
V_Vegas wrote: The Casablanca movie
I've seen it. It is one of my favourite movies. Yes, the situation there was really complicated. And no one can be blamed, not even the character of Ingrid Bergman. But that is a movie.. And you usually have much more simple situations in the real life. So in the real life in the most cases you really can divide the situations on "black" and "white". And people actions as well. When the person cheats on you and lies to you about that, it is definitely the "black" type, regardless of the reason : if this person is simply too weak to tell you the truth, or if it does all that because it wants to have you nearby for some mercantile reasons. Lies are always lies.
Andreas_Maroon wrote: it is definitely the "black" type, regardless of the reason :
There is an opinion that there are always two people, who are responsible for the breakup. And, according to my experience, that is very true statement. The relations is not a think that can be driven by one single person, it takes both partners to build it. And it takes both to destroy it as well, usually. When you see that your partner seem to loose interest to you, you must ask yourself, if there is anything that you've done wrong. If he is loosing interest because he simply turned out to be a shallow person, who does not really know what he wants, you must ask yourself, why did not you notice that earlier.
i think that it depends. if you loved your partner very much and if you were really very happy together then this healing period may be very long. but if you were not really happy and you wanted to break up then i think that you may heal even in the couples of weeks. you just have to meet the other persona nd i am sure that everything would be alright just do not think about him and do not recall your relations. you shall understand that there are a lot fo people on the earth and you will definitely meet better guy.
Ben_Roar wrote:There is an opinion that there are always two people, who are responsible for the breakup.
I think that is not more then a pretty saying. Because usually there is one who leads, and one who follows, in most of the couples. And there is one who leaves a, and the one who remains. People may break up differently. sometimes they have lot of argues, and they do know what is the actual reason. There is some particular thing that they can not make a compromise on. And eventually they do understand that they cannot be together any more. And sometimes everything goers just fine, and suddenly you hear "We need to talk...) In this case there is definitely a person who holds more responsibility.
Andreas_Maroon wrote:There is an opinion that there are always two people, who are responsible for the breakup.
I never liked these "wise" expressions.. this is life , and there are thousands of different ways things may happen in this life. If we say that a thing can take only one way, then we simply have not enough experience. When your friend tells you a story of his relations and asks you to give advice about it, you should never rely on such sayings. You need to get into the details, to uncover all the truth and the motivations. then you will be able to help him. If you think that you know all the truth beforehand only because you learned a pretty phrase, that makes you pretty arrogant and silly. Ben, I am not speaking about you, just expressing my thoughts)
Paul_O wrote:I never liked these "wise" expressions..
Agree on that.. Especially in the question of cheating. I always took this matter more lightly then other people. Seems that I am less sensitive to these matters. At least that is the way I was time ago. I can say that I never cheated on my partners, and I am really glad about that. even proud. Anyway, if my partner would cheat on me right now.. I think it would hurt me really much, and I am not sure if I would be able to forgive him. Because did not ever have that experience, I am just not sure what I might feel. I've seen the people in that condition, and I am sure that I would not like to experience that.
if you understand that your relations were terrible then you do not have to regret about them. of course you may have depression because you were together with a partner and you felt his love and support sometimes and now you are alone and you do not even have a person to watch the film and to kiss. but still do no think about it, there are a lot of guys in the world and of course you may have a lot of relations in our life. some of them may be worse than that one, but there may be perfect relations in your life.
If you ove d a person and you broke up and you are worried about those relations, for sure there would be a healing period and you can do anything better than just wait and try to forget everything as soon as possible. unfortunatelly you can do anything better ...
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