Who experienced divorce?

Just_R
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Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Just_R » Wed Jul 27, 2016 6:05 pm

Ben_Roar wrote: But I am glad that it exists

This time I do join your opinion, Ben. If there would be no divorces - there would be much more unhappy marriages. Though if there would be no divorces, on the other hand, there would be much more good marriages as well. Sometimes people need to overcome some tough situations. Either they succeed in that, and they start to love each other even more, or they fail. And in that second situation modern people choose the divorce. In older times the couples could not be separated, and I can imagine how would it be to live in the couple where you do love your partner less and less every day.
Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Thu Jul 28, 2016 12:45 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:But I am glad that it exists

If you are considering the possibility of the divorce even before getting married, I do not see any point why you should marry then. I just cannot imagine that feeling, when you are on the ceremony, and you say all those things to your fiancé, and in the same time you know that it all may be lie. Maybe then you should not tell the words "till the death will part us"? Then all the rest will be true, to some degree) When people are getting married, I would say that they are both willingly accepting the illusion that it is really going to last till the end of their days. But in the same time they "hold their fingers crossed" behind their backs, if you know, what I mean)
Ben_Roar
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Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Ben_Roar » Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:32 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:If you are considering the possibility of the divorce even before getting married, I do not see any point why you should marry then.

That is called maximalism. There is a point of getting married. Even if you both understand that it may not last forever. We do not know what the next day will bring us, but that is not the reason to live in the perpetual fear of the future. There was a saying by Woody Allen: "If you want to make the God laugh, tell him about your plans for the future". There is wisdom in this words. It means that you never know what the future is going to bring you. But not to build plans, in my opinion, is making the God cry. Because that means that you will never persuade your dreams.
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Chase
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Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Chase » Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:14 pm

no i have not experienced divorce and i am really happy because of it. i would not like to have it and i really doubts whether there would be such situation in my life. i think that it is impossible because my husband and i are really very happy and i think that we are the happiest couple in the world and w can spend all the life together without any difficulties. of curse there are some obstacles on our way, we quarrel sometimes, sometimes we are really angry at each other. but still we can overcome all of them .
Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:58 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:That is called maximalism.

Ok, then I can telly you that making the marriage speeches and oaths is called idealism. These both -isms are equally silly, I think. But foe some reason, people gladly accept the second one, and the first one is often being rejected, like in your case, Ben) Why to make an oath on the first place, if you do not know if you will handle it in the future, or no? We cannot ell how we will change in several years, and how our partner will change. We dont know what we are going to feel towards each other... I do not mean you and me, Ben) But you got the point of what I am trying to say.
Paul_O
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Location: Helsinki

Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Paul_O » Tue Aug 02, 2016 5:55 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:making the marriage speeches and oaths is called idealism

You do not like marriages, dont you, Andreas?:) Maybe you had an unsuccessful one already, and it broke your heart?:) Other reason that I see to that is that your parents had unsuccessful marriage. Anyway.. This idea is not that bad as it may look to you... Idealism is not such a bad thing! Why dont you like the idea that people want to believe in something, even if that sounds to be really non probable? If people would not believe in such things, the human kind would not have any progress at all : just look around! The idealism gave us the wonders of the modern world, and I think that a successful marriage is a much lesser problem.
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:30 pm

Paul_O wrote:You do not like marriages, dont you, Andreas?:)


Now I think that we can analyse Andreas personality a little bit) Seems that I was not the only one who was raised in the unhappy family. My parents had lot of quarrels as well, and they divorced when I was about ten. That had lot of influence on me. Though I do not have that kind of attitude towards the marriage institute as Andreas has. I am not married right now. But my boyfriend and I decided, that we will get married as soon as we will start passing trough the surrogacy program. There were lot of reasons for that decision, but in the end we came to it both, not because of sentimental reasons, but because of practical ones.
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Easton
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Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Easton » Tue Aug 09, 2016 11:49 am

yes i have experienced the divorce once and i hope that i will never face this problem one more time. i did not love that partner anymore and that is why the divorce was the best idea we can think about, but still it is very difficult to break up with the person with whom you have lived for a long time and you thought that you loved each other. you have a lot of memories and they may kill you. but the worse moment is with the documents. you have to gather all them and you spend a lot of tie and efforts on it.
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JanisNiv
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Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby JanisNiv » Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:43 am

I haaavvveeen't and i hope i would never experience it, cause i am sure it is not a pleasant thing to happn in life. When you first loved and then sudden y understand - it is the end.... it is terrible and i am sorry you have found out what it is... really sorry.
Paul_O
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Location: Helsinki

Re: Who experienced divorce?

Postby Paul_O » Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:13 pm

Easton wrote:i did not love that partner anymore and that is why the divorce was the best idea we can think about

It is easier for you when you did not really love your partner up to that time. But on the other hand, did he still love you? In that case I would not want you to be on his place.. I mean, I would not wish to anyone to be on his place. I did not experience divorce, but I did have serious breakups in my life. And I remember how terrible that was. this is a feeling that I will remember al my life. that is why i will do my best to save the relations, if they will go a wrong way. The relations between two people who love each other is the most precious thing we have in our life.. and it is worth to be saved.

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