if the love is not mutual

Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Just_R » Wed Jul 27, 2016 6:15 pm

Ben_Roar wrote: the question is about some "goal" that you are trying to reach for sometime

And if to approach the situation from this point of view, you need to be considerate, and understand, if that is the right p[person for reaching of that foal, or no. We are speaking of the feelings here, of course. But, unfortunately, as all the other things in our lives, it all does come to the trivial logics and common sense. I think you should restrain yourself from making the emotional bonds with the person , whom you are not sure about. One female friend of mine told me, that it is just the attitude, that women are calling "bitchy") But I think it is simply based on the common sense.
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Thu Jul 28, 2016 12:35 pm

Just_R wrote: that women are calling "bitchy"

I know that type of people, those can be both mend and women. I was never able to communicate with such people, strange that I am able to communicate with you though)) You are right that one needs to wait and thin before getting closer to other person emotionally. But in that case all the relations would be based only on the cold calculation, and that does not sound like anything that can be close to love at all. I think that you are just a specific type of a person, and not many people would be able to follow your advise in this case. People often doing the mistakes because of their emotions, and that is a part of what makes us humans)
Ben_Roar
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Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Ben_Roar » Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:41 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote: People often doing the mistakes because of their emotions, and that is a part of what makes us humans)

Yes, we are made to be silly!) Someone was speaking about being bitchy here? Not a good trait for a man. For a gay man as well. That is simple disrespect for people around you. And such behaviour always reduces the chances of having any serious relations. I always thought that this kind of behaviour is a kind of psychological protection. The principle is that if you hurt someone first, this person will not be able to hurt you . But that is a disguise that is designed to mask the fear and non-confidence. Justin, I hope that you are really not that kind of a person. Because I really do like some of your thoughts.
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Chase
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Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Chase » Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:36 pm

unmutual love is the worse thing that exists in our lives. when you love the person and want to make everything for him but he does not have any feelings for you. of course the person who does not love you is not guilty for it, he just does not have any feelings to you and it is normal. you can not make him love you and even do not try to do it. just try to respect it and do not spoil his life with your love. try to understand that you have to forget the person if he does not love you.
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:44 pm

Chase wrote: of course the person who does not love you is not guilty for it

You are right, one cannot find anyone being really guilty here. Especially when no one wants to cause any pain for another. But what can you do, when it just hurts? I think you just need to be strong enough to overcome your feelings. Or to do anything to make this person feel towards you the same. Both ways are hard, and you need to understand what to really want. If you will not know your true wishes for sure, you will spend lot of tie and efforts in vane, and will be miserable in the end. In this situation I would prefer to leave. I do not like to torture myself with such feelings.
Paul_O
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Location: Helsinki

Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Paul_O » Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:20 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote: one cannot find anyone being really guilty here

You are an idealist indeed) This is true, what you say , of course. But only in some cases. In my experience, I had much more cases when there was actually a guilty person. People who deceive, people who do not know what they really want, people who have some hidden wishes and cannot satisfy them without breaking someone's heart. People, who are simply bored, and that serves the main reason for all their love adventures. Eventually, someone's heart is being broken again. the other questions is : should we look for that "guilt"? If the relations are broken beyond repairs, what is the point to search for the person who is guilty, and what will you do with that person once you will find it?
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:16 pm

Paul_O wrote:should we look for that "guilt"?

Yes Paul, we should loo for it! How else we can learn the lesson and get the experience from these relations? If you will not learn this lesson, then all this time was spent in vane, you will not understand your mistakes, and you will be condemned to repeat them again when you will be passing trough your next relations. You need to understand what had happened, and to find who was more guilty not in order to put the blame on this person, but in order to learn your life lesson. You know that wise people are learning on their mistakes, dont you? Those who are even more wise - then simply do not do the mistakes.
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:16 pm

Paul_O wrote:should we look for that "guilt"?

Yes Paul, we should loo for it! How else we can learn the lesson and get the experience from these relations? If you will not learn this lesson, then all this time was spent in vane, you will not understand your mistakes, and you will be condemned to repeat them again when you will be passing trough your next relations. You need to understand what had happened, and to find who was more guilty not in order to put the blame on this person, but in order to learn your life lesson. You know that wise people are learning on their mistakes, dont you? Those who are even more wise - then simply do not do the mistakes.
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Easton
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Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby Easton » Tue Aug 09, 2016 11:58 am

if the love is not mutual then it is not the love. personally i do not believe in the unmutual love. when you love the person and he does not love you then it is not the love. it is impossible. it is like disease or something like that. i have a lot of friends who are in love with celebrities. yes mature guys are in love with the stars. i can not believe in it. but they really believe that they love them but these people even do not my friends. i can not call it love, it is a real disease. i do not believe in it.
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JanisNiv
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Re: if the love is not mutual

Postby JanisNiv » Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:40 am

Unfortunatelly you can do anything more than you do. i have read in one post somewhere, that a guy must want you himself, but not make him want you. when you mke somebody want you on purpose, it will be only sex, but not feelings. a guy shoud see a partner in you himself.

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