The fear of marriage

Howard
Posts: 97
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 12:24 pm

The fear of marriage

Postby Howard » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:48 pm

Hello! I have a boyfriend we're together for more than four years. He proposed me for several time already but each time I try to avvoid the answer to this question. I've already been married and it was awful. But now, I really love him and I want to get married, but I don't know how to overcome my fear. It is normal to fear marriage – it is an important decision that will affect the rest of your life. Thinking through the decision will help you make sure it is the right time, person, and place. Can you help me? I want to tell him "yes" but I'm affraid. Help me, please.
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Brown_Wolf
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:41 pm

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Brown_Wolf » Sat Jan 20, 2018 10:37 pm

Hi, Howard! Firstly, I want to tell you that you should trust your gut int his situation. None knows what to do in this situation better than you. I think you should tell about your fears to your partner. If he really loves you, he would understand everything and won't press on you. If you are afraid to say 'yes', it may also mean that you don't totally trust this guy. Maybe, you should ask yourself a simple question: "Do I trust this guy?" The answer to this question may be the hint what to do further. As for your first marriage, I would try to forget about it as soon as possible. Don't let it spoil your present life!
Rob1012
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:19 pm

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Rob1012 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:11 pm

Hello.Do you feel you really love him ?Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with this person?Do you feel comfortable with him?If the answers to all my questions are "yes ",don't think anymore .Just accept his proposal.About your fear -you need to understand that all people make mistakes and your ex-husband wasn't type of person you need ,you don't have to be afraid of your future life with your love ,being based on your unsuccessful marriage in past.
Felix
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:19 pm

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Felix » Mon Feb 19, 2018 10:27 am

Gamophobia is a fairly severe social phobia. It interferes with the construction of a normal relationship between a man and a woman. Formation, as a rule, begins with childhood. The reasons for fear of marriage can be - Presence of the child during constant scandals between parents or a neighbor's married couple.
Unsuccessful experience of the first marriage.
Suggesting from childhood a close person, with an unsuccessfully developed personal life, that marriage brings only trouble.A person has doubts about the need for marriage. One can live easily, independence and freedom are fixed in the subconscious as priority needs. And the need to create a family, the presence of a loved one is moving to the distant future. Sometimes afraid of family relationships makes the fear that a man in marriage will change, will become rude, aggressive.
Duke
Posts: 250
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:44 am

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Duke » Thu Mar 01, 2018 8:07 pm

Many men do not fear when thinking about marriage in the future. Some of them are actively moving towards the creation of a strong official family. This desire is characteristic of men at almost any age and with any social status.However, there are a number of representatives of the stronger sex (usually over the age of 30), who are horrified before the official marriage. These are the so-called hamophobes (not to be confused with homophobes) - people experiencing fear (phobia) to marry. They are characterized by a huge amount of confessions in love, and then - leaving from a woman. The second option - the alternation of love confessions with periodic care from a woman, which makes her think that a man is not ready for a long connection, and not for the marriage itself. Sometimes this connection lasts more than one year, but at the same time a man arranges meetings in a neutral territory.
Bart
Posts: 384
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:36 pm

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Bart » Tue Apr 03, 2018 5:26 am

I am not afraid of marriage. And I have never felt confused about marriage. I didn't have any fear of marriage. Especially for me marriage is not feeling, it is just official paper of the fact of your living together and sharing duties. But it is not a proof ofyyour feelings, mutual feelings. I think that if both of you believe in your love and your feelings, so you won't need any proofs, you can live together during the whole life without being married. I think you will support such my opinion. But if you are too young it is possible to have it
Daniel89
Posts: 339
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 4:42 pm

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Daniel89 » Wed May 23, 2018 7:23 pm

I can't understand why are you afraid of marriage? If you are sure in your feelings you shouldn't be afraid of your marriage. Marriage is a result of your love. But maybe not in all cases, but in most of them. I am a married guy and I appreciate every single minute spent with my dear husband. I am so happy that I can easily find common language with him and even when we have some difficulties or disagreements we try to find compromises and exact solution for the problem. I believe that if you love each other you will not have global difficulties while your marriage.
Adrian
Posts: 405
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2018 10:59 am

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Adrian » Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:04 pm

What is the point then lead, for example, a child to a psychologist and talk about his problems, when I see the cause in the parents, what is the point to go to the psychologist and tell him about the problems in the family, if the family you will spend less time than at work or with friends ?
I will not stay without work, but you also need to understand how important it is to correctly prioritize the family, and not just talk about the importance of the family for you, but follow this priority.
Caleb
Posts: 330
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 7:33 am

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Caleb » Thu Jun 07, 2018 7:41 am

How can a presidential candidate make people's lives better, if they are shirking their work, and in their free time are engaged only in agonizing, amusing and enjoying themselves? In the sense in which these people understand this possibility, of course not, but they vote for those who promise it in their general form, beautifully, emotionally, seeing the solution to the problem in anyone and everything, but not in people themselves. And when he came to power, such a person simply starts kicking all the lazy people off the stove with kicks and makes them live a more productive life.
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Josh
Posts: 67
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2018 10:20 am

Re: The fear of marriage

Postby Josh » Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:55 am

Hi Howard. If you want to say 'yes' but your fear stops you this is what i can suggest. Try to view marriage like nothing bigger than just paper work. Dont give it a label of life-changing-thing. When we have to make a decision about an even that might change our life for ever, the process of thinking can take forever. So take it easy. Marriage is just a little party where you celebrate the fact of loving each other. No more, no less. Once you stop viewing it too seriously you will find that you are not afraid as much. Not a nice thing to mention here, but if you have some legal issues, then you can always have a marriage contract. If your partner loves you then he will understand and wont be offended by it

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