This may sound a bit abusive.. but I regret that there is still not such technology that would allow us to literally raise the kids in the laboratories. Some way to avoid the interaction with an "intermediate", that is represented by the surrogate mother. Please, do not think of me as of the shovinist. I truly believe, that both men and women are the God's children, and that we do have equal rights. But seems that the very role of the "intermediate" only is.. alien to the woman nature. they are created to be mothers, not just "breeding tanks". That even does sound as an insult, as for me...
i do not vene know, i think that it depends on the person. if you want the surrogate mother to take part in the child's life then i think that it may be so, but it also depends on the mother. i know that in many cases surrogates just do not want to take part in these children's life, because actually they are not their children, and they are not considered to be theirs. i think that it is right, she just delivers the child and nothing more, she is not the mother because she does not take any part in the child's life.
I will tell you our story and hope you will understand what the role of such mother is in the life of a kid. We were suggested by the agency a girl, who was 25, she was an orhant and had to earn money for life.. We talked a lot with this girl and she signed a document that she does not have any right on a child... She bore a baby and dissapeared to carry another baby, for anothe family...
I think their part, role is to give you a baby. to give birth and to forget about him or her when they bear it. cause if the re is a problem with it, you will have troubles with raising a kid. troubles with future and understanding what is what and who is who in the famiy.
this is an interesting topic. I know that most part of the people who pass trough the surrogacy programs, prefer not to mention the surrogate mothers after they have the kid already. As for me, that was different with us, for some reason. Perhaps, we were just lucky to have such a good surrogate mother. There were no problems with her during the gestation period. More then that, we do communicate with her still. She completely admit our parental rights, and has no problems with the fact that the baby she carried in her belly is not hers. We did not touch really sensitive topics and questions about her profession in our conversations though, I dont see any point in that.
Such mothers know what they do. they know what documents they sighn and i guess if they had already given the hope to some couple, they have no right to get it back, cause.. that is too bad.. or... vioent of them to do such things. i hope that they do not reject ater bearing.
so now I have experience of communication with the woman who is a surrogate mother.. What can I say. All is pretty much as I suspected - it is basically about the money. But honestly, this is ok with me. this is for their own consideration, how will they use their body and health.. I think I will be simply thankful to them.. The payment they get from the agency is really nothing comparing to the joy of the parents that can hold their baby on their hands at last. that is the main thing. Basically, this woman I was speaking with was pretty nice... But I doubt I will use her services)
Paul_O wrote:so now I have experience of communication with the woman who is a surrogate mother..
Did you expect anything else? I think everything is pretty obvious in this case. But I am agree with the opinion that was stated somewhere in other topic.. We should be thankful to them anyway, for the opportunity that they are giving to us. It is worth of any money, pity that many straight couples just take this for granted, and do not appreciate this gift as much, as thy should. I dont think that I will want to communicate with the surrogate mother that is going to carry my baby. Besides, the agency policy forbids that, and I think that is only for good.
Here i am on the side of guys who says that their role in the life of our kids is to bear the child and that is all.... You see they do know what they do and why they do what they do.. and there is no problem in deciding these things. it is just a matter of attitudes. such mothers really help hopeless couples to become happy. they do great job)
I think that I am closing this controversial topic, since I had applied for the surrogacy program already with my fiance) I mean that I do not think it would be possible for me to discuss this matter further, while the fate of my future baby now depends on the person that I would debate here around. Hope you will understand this correctly) I am a bit superstitious person, that is true, I know) It is good that I am not going to know who is the surrogate mother for my kid.. I will just imagine the picture of a woman who will be fair enough to comply with her obligations.
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