We all know the part that surrogate mothers play - they give the birth to the baby.. But what next? Giving a birth - and being the biological mother- I think that is something more for any woman then just to take a cup of coffee. What relations will this woman have with the kid afterwards - will she visit him when he will grow up, for example? Or this is just a new type of profession - giving the birth to a child - and then forget about this one and "take new order"? Does anyone here know women who were surrogate mothers? How does it feel - to be the mother of someone else child?
Hello Andreas! the question that you brought up here is one of those that are still not solved among the surrogate clinics themselves. Usually they make the legal contracts with the surrogate mothers - and one of the obligatory conditions there is the one that says, that the surrogate mother refuses of all the parental rights. there was a post here recently about someone being deceived by the surrogate mother - who decided to leave the child to herself. Well - either that is simply illegal action - or that was not written in her contract. In any case - people who attend to services of these clinics - need to make that question clear. I see the surrogate mother only as the part of the process - but not as the person who will take any part in the life of my future baby. I know that it is not ethical by the modern measures - but that is just the way I see it.
Yes, I am agree - that is an interesting question. I knew one woman who was a surrogate mother once. She was a pretty strange person., Both strange - and pretty actually. You know - one of those people who's words and behaviour coexist in some kind of sloppy and controversial unity - you can never understand if you should understand her literally - or if you should read between the lines. Anyway - I asked her the very same question - what was it foe you to be surrogate mother. The answer was pretty much pragmatic.. She really needed money that time. And thought that delivering a baby will be a virtue, a good thing to do. But when she passed trough this experience - she understood that it is too much for her - to carry the baby all the way - and to give it away to stranger people. She said she will not repeat the experience again.
Just_R wrote:She really needed money that time
Hey, thanks for an interesting comment. I've been suspecting that much... That makes me think of if it is worthy to do it that way - I mean the surrogacy at all. It actually raises more questions then it solves. One fellow was writing here about asking your relatives to become surrogate mother for a kid... "Mom, deliver me a baby for the New Year!") That was really crazy. The question is - how much of that surrogate mother will be in my future child? I think that when I will get that far in my plans to take part in surrogacy program - I will want to know the future surrogate mother really well before taking her as the future mother for my kid.
I think the only possible part of a surrogate mother in a child's life is to give him birth. I don't think that it is good when they communicate. For me it is impossibale and as far as I know it is not legal because surrogate mothers always sign a contract where it is written that any contacts with a baby are forbidden. Moreover, for most of the surrogate mothers it is just work. And believe me, they get enough money for it! But of course while she is pregnant she plays a very important role and you should do everything to make her happy and to keep her healthy. But that is all!
I have a son thanks for surrogacy program. We don’t communicate with the surrogacy mother. I don't know how it will be in the future, but I think that it is our son, but not her. I went through the gestational surrogacy, so the surrogate mother is not a biological mother for a child. According to our agreement she doesn’t have any parental rights for a child.
Well, their part is to carry a child and: Thank you, now you can be free))) Well, perhaps it is rude, but i do not want to think that the mother of my kid will appear one day and decide to be a real mummy... No, she got money and now itis my child!
It turns out to be that this kind of "profession" is a very controversial. That is why I prefer the gestational surrogacy instead of traditional one. And,. as I know, that is the preference that many agencies take. The reason is.. Well, I would not want to say anything bad about the surrogate mothers, in the end, we all must be thankful to them.. But the fact that they are performing the most sacred action and process in the human's life only to get some money makes you wonder of the moral values that these women posses, and which they can transfer to their future baby with their genes.
Surrogate mothers are people, who did not have any happiness in their lives, as I know. Though there are exceptions of course. there are different life situations, which can make a woman to consider about becoming the surrogate mother. It is not the question of money in all the occasions. sometimes the woman feels the urge to help other people to get their happiness. I wish all the surrogate mothers would be that way, but I am afraid that people who posted their opinions above are correct about the most part of the occasions. Anyway, I think that we do not need to get too deep into this topic. We need to be thankful for the existence of this opportunity for us, despite all the things that represent the"other side of the medal" in the question of surrogate motherhood.
Andreas_Maroon wrote:That is why I prefer the gestational surrogacy instead of traditional one.
That would be the right approach, even though the prices are higher in that case. But if you are dealing with such a serious matter as having a baby, you cannot speak about ways to save some money on that. That is why these agencies and clinics, perhaps, are having their golden age now, or at least start to have. I think that in 10 or 15 years, when this business will be more eligible in most of the countries, the prices will reduce significantly. Who knows, maybe till that time science will invent some methods to avoid even the use of surrogate mothers, and this "profession" simply ceases to exist?
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