Afraid

Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Afraid

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:30 pm

Hey Paul, I am really glad to hear that everything is fine now! I believe you will not reveal the name of the agency.. If you would want to do that, you would already did. Maybe you are right. From your description of the situation I understood, that there was no fault of the agency in the accident. It was all on the surrogate mother responsibility, and she proven to be a very irresponsible person. When I will be passing trough the program, I will try to examine the background of the surrogate mother that we are going to cooperate with very carefully. Maybe I'll hire a detective)
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Chase
Posts: 201
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 12:18 pm

Re: Afraid

Postby Chase » Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:00 am

i understand you very good but i thin that you do not have to worry about anything and to be afraid. parenting is a natural process and having the child would definitely make you happier. of course the journey may take a lot of time and there are cases when parents do not get their children but try do not think about it. i am sure tat everything would be alright, and you will be the parents of the wonderful child. i hope that you will overcome your fear and bad thoughts, it is very important.
Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: Afraid

Postby Paul_O » Tue Aug 02, 2016 5:45 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote: Maybe I'll hire a detective)

You may be joking about that, but I know that some people do practice that) The point is : the agency has not right to put the surrogate mother under their constant surveillance and control. that is why some couples (both homo- and hetero-) hire detectives to have an eye on their future babies. I do not know about the "legal" side of this, but that does work... At least that may save you from getting into the kind of situation that your friends had.. It is better safe then sorry, you know) I hope that when I'll be passing the program, I will not have to do such tricks, honestly..
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: Afraid

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 03, 2016 10:49 am

Hey Paul! I am glad that it all turned out to be well. I know that I make an impression of the person who does not much care about the troubles of other people, but in fact I was worried. Perhaps, because I can be in the same situation pretty soon. And I would like to know what one should do in the situation like that one. I dont know how could I speak without harsh words with this woman afterwards. I am glad that your friend were able to find the common language with her though. I will be really careful in the process of choosing the surrogate mother for my future kid.
Salvin
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:00 pm

Re: Afraid

Postby Salvin » Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:14 pm

Hi, all!
I want to share with you my story which full of fears and doubts.
I agree that it is really hard to choose something, it is realy hard to believe in good sometimes, especially when you failed a lot of times before.
Our family failed with 3 surrogacy programs and with 1 adoption process. I can say that it was really big experience of fails but we've got our award at the end.
Will tell everything in short. 7 years ago we decided to perform surrogacy program in India. It was terrible but cheap, so we failed after signing the contract...clinic we cooperating with just dissapear with our money, it was difficult to believe but it was happening with us and we decided that better luck next time and decided to try one more time. This time we choose UK (not commercial surrogacy)...I know....I know it was bad idea from the very beginning but it is to late to think about it, so as a result she I had an abortion and disappear from our sight. So, we decided that surrogacy is not for us and decided to try adoption. We went to Russia to adopt a child. When we were at the middle of the process their government suddenly forbid international adoption and it was impossible to finish the process.
I think it was internal love and desire to become parents which gave us strength to move further because when I look at these situations now it seems to me that it is something unbelievable and it was not with us.
So, after we decided to try surrogacy one more time...in Tabasco..but what a surprise it was also closed with time. Not so long time ago government forbid surrogacy there..nice, we thought that God really doesn't want us to be parents.
Now we are waiting for our baby#1. Yes, we won and in a couple of months we will be parents. We finally found the right place and what was our surprise that everything went well and it left sooo little time till the moment we will meet with our son. Hope...nothing will happen during this 2 months.
David
Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2016 8:47 pm

Re: Afraid

Postby David » Tue Aug 09, 2016 10:15 am

As the saying goes: "Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid of not to try.". And I fully agree with this statement. Yes, it's so hard to make everything without any mistakes and when I was in your shoes, I also had thousands of frightening thoughts and doubts. I understand you like nobody else. In addition, I want to say that I have spent 5 years on reading books about surrogacy and all its nuances and looking for the right clinic with qualifed experts in this field. Me and my husband were waiting for the right moment and he came. Everything was more than successful and now we bring up our daughter! Don't be afraid of starting to be happier!
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: Afraid

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 17, 2016 1:25 pm

Salvin wrote:I want to share with you my story which full of fears and doubts.

Thanks for sharing your story with us) It sounds like you won the prize for the "most goal oriented future father" here) I am not a sentimental person, but the story did impress me. You've seen lots of stuff, experienced lot of loss. I suppose, in the end you are going to love your kid more then everyone else love theirs, since you came trough so much to accomplish your goal. So maybe you will share some experience, for example, what agency are you using right now? Is it Biodads? I've seen lot of good feedbacks on this one) Don't be shy and tell us, what agencies better not to use as well!
Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: Afraid

Postby Ben_Roar » Thu Aug 18, 2016 4:22 pm

Salvin wrote:I want to share with you my story which full of fears and doubts.

Yes, thanks for telling us your story. some people are coming to their goals trough great ordeals, and I am glad that you've made it, no matter what. I told my story here on the forum, you can read it if you like. My path was not easy as well, though I think it was not that hard as yours, in the end. Anyway, we did not hear for a long time from the author of the original post here. i wonder if all these things that were written here in answer did help him. Perhaps, not. It always takes courage to make a step, not only tons of the information, that you can easily obtain by yourself.
Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: Afraid

Postby Paul_O » Fri Aug 19, 2016 7:08 pm

Salvin wrote:I want to share with you my story which full of fears and doubts.

That is a nice story dude! I mean, it is pretty hard one, but I like the stories with happy endings) I posted a story here recently, about my friends that have had some issues with their surrogate mother. It all ended well too.. I hope all such stories will have happy endings. Your story teaches us alot.. For example, that you should never give up. there are many people here on the forum, that would give up after the very first failure. But we see, thanks to your example, that the success can be gained only by constant struggle and attempts to succeed. thanks for your story)
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Afraid

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:36 pm

Hello guys. Me and my fiance at last decided to make the first step - and we arranged the first consultation with the Biodads agency. It is going to take place tomorrow, and we are very exited. When I will have time, I am going to write here about how did it go, and if it was useful for us. So there is no need to afraid that something might go wrong.. It will, if it must be so. It all will happen itself, do not worry about that) All you need to do is just to push forward despite all the obstacles. I must say that once we made this first step? it became much easier to us to move forward, and some of our fears gone away. I think the further we will go, the brighter future we will see in the end of this path.

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