The best way

Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: The best way

Postby Paul_O » Fri Sep 09, 2016 8:36 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:Or, at least, I would not burn down all the bridges to retreat.

Yes - that would be silly indeed. the bad thing is that when some people see their partners do not do that, they do start to think that these partners do not have enough confidence in their relations - and they start to make a problem of that. I think that is the crest of being selfish. When you are only thinking about how you feel. there are always things, even between the lovers - that must not be discussed. That may sound strange - especially from such a person as I am, but even in my relations we do have an unspoken agreement not to speak about some things.
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: The best way

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:25 pm

Paul_O wrote: they do start to think that these partners do not have enough confidence in their relations

You are speaking of the people who are really unwise, jealous. These people usually do not have really long and stable relations - because they tend do destroy the things that they built themselves. That is sad to see - but you cannot change this thing in their personalities. I prefer to keep away from such people, though most part of them are really nice in the everyday communication. And only in the intimate, close relations they are showing that ugly trait. I did not ever have boy friends of that kind.. and I will never do already)
Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: The best way

Postby Paul_O » Tue Sep 13, 2016 8:50 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:. These people usually do not have really long and stable relations

I think it does depend on their partner... It is hard for them to find the person who would be able to tolerate all their hysterics and whims - but sometimes that does happen. And then you can see the person is changing. As if there would be something in their partner, that does absorb all that chaotic energy from these people. It is good to see that happens. Because if that does not happen - these people are mostly condemned to be alone till the end of their lives. I am happy not to be that kind of a person)
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: The best way

Postby Just_R » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:45 pm

Paul_O wrote:I think it does depend on their partner...

this topic that you are speaking here about right now is definitely about me.. no, I am not a hysteric) But I am a rather specific type of a person - not many may stand me for a long time.. Yes - i am that bad (how do you guys tolerate me here at all?:)) So - if I would not find my husband, who is a person that really has the temper close to mine - i would be alone. More than that - i am sure that I would be able to be alone all my life.. I would simply have to, even if I would not want that.. You can not change some things about yourself, you know. And you need to find the person who would feel ok with you.
Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: The best way

Postby Ben_Roar » Sun Sep 18, 2016 9:50 pm

Justin - you are not that unique in this way. Some people choose to be lonely all their life by themselves. And they do not feel lonely or sad with that kind of the situation. They usually have some thing that does absorb all their attention and energy. some kind of the work of all their life, you know. Though - not all lonely people are that lucky. Most part of them are , unfortunately, lonely because they were not able to make other choice - even if they wanted to. In this case this loneliness it a really bad thing. Though in the end - it is their own choice.
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: The best way

Postby Just_R » Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:24 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:Justin - you are not that unique in this way

Perhaps. .i am not trying to show off with my uniqueness.. But i think that there are not many people who would do this kind of choice. the choice I am speaking about - is the choice between being with the person you do not really love and the loneliness. I would rather choose to be lonely. But most part of people are afraid of the loneliness so much, that they would prefer to be with those people they would not choose in any other case. The marriages are built on the fear and desperation. I would not like to see myself in the situation of that kind.
Miller
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Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 4:48 pm

Re: The best way

Postby Miller » Wed Sep 21, 2016 4:47 am

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JosephAcape
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Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 11:40 am
Location: Liberia
Contact:

The best way

Postby JosephAcape » Tue Sep 12, 2017 3:12 pm

Is humor the best way to change perspective/reframe mind on things after having gone through trauma? I try to make myself laugh at what I went through, but I feel like this is indignifying myself.
James
Posts: 253
Joined: Sun Sep 24, 2017 7:34 pm

Re: The best way

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Mr.Harry
Posts: 295
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 10:18 pm

Re: The best way

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