Risks

Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: Risks

Postby Ben_Roar » Sat Aug 27, 2016 6:57 am

Just_R wrote:Well, forget them, overcome them, stick them somewhere deeper) there will always be things that might go wrong.

You are straightforward, as always) I think there is no other way to overcome the fear, but to face it. To do the thing you are afraid to do. I know that this is not really the case. My advice to the author of the post would be the following, eventually./ Wait for some time, several months, perhaps a year. Then, if you will see, that you still do have the urge to adopt the kid - do this. It means that your wish to do that is much more strong then your fears. And eventually it will help you to overcome all the fears that you have. Consult your partner about this.
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DamonLink
Posts: 157
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2016 10:18 am

Re: Risks

Postby DamonLink » Sun Aug 28, 2016 6:28 pm

i guess in this situation risks are always beside you. i do think and consider that all our life is a risky game and do we want it or not, we have to play it with dignity ;) ;) Adoptin.. it is always difficult and emotionally and finance side... so be careful, find special agencies and think twice before choosing a right agency for dealing your situation
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: Risks

Postby Just_R » Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:11 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:You are straightforward, as always)

I am) Because, honestly, I am irritated with posts of this kind "Oh, I do want something so much, but I am so afraid, what should I do?". Someone wants to put the weight of the decision on someone else. This is your damn life, and you are asking someone else to tell you what to do with it? this is really pathetic. I do not want to insult anyone - but this is just the way it is. I would prefer to think the matter over again, for a 100 times, if that would be necessary - but t not to moan in front of stranger people abut the "fears" you have. Dude, cut it out...
Miller
Posts: 57
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 4:48 pm

Re: Risks

Postby Miller » Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:11 pm

I should say that there are always certain risks in our life. We cannot be ready for everything. And as for adoption, you also can't. I mean that even heterosexual couples have problems with their children. Sometimes they even say that they hate them for their behavior. But it is only temporary state or feeling. Maybe in your situation you need to go to a specialist and have a consultation with him. Maybe even some. And I'm sure that he will tell you the same things as I did. Worries and fears are normal feelings for any parents. Maybe I will sound strange a bit but don’t think about it just do it!
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Risks

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Tue Aug 30, 2016 6:21 pm

If you are afraid of the adoption that much - why would not you try the surrogacy? I know that it is much more expensive and difficult.. but do you really think of these things when you are speaking about the child, that you can call your won in all the ways - both mental and the genetic? So you should consider about that. At least in this case you are not going to experience any of those problems you were afraid in the case of the adoption. Give it a try. Speak with your partner about this, apply for the free consultation in some agency!
DANIEL
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 7:13 am

Re: Risks

Postby DANIEL » Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:04 am

My answer - you have to risk and to try it finally! Everything will be ok if you will work together under this problem. You are not the first who thinks about it, and not the last. Show your love, your care, attention, and all your problems with the child will dissapear :D
Just_R
Posts: 223
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: Risks

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:59 pm

As I wrote in my previous post about the adoption - the kids in the orphanages do not seem to be that poor and miserable, as we thought, as we do picture them. They are living full life there, among the kids that doshare their life conditions and situation. That makes them become really close to each other, to appreciate friendship. So if you are "not sure", then it is better for you to adopt the younger kid - or not to adopt kid as well. the older kids really do not need "parents". They do need a tutor in some questions, perhaps, but definitely not mommy and daddy.
Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: Risks

Postby Paul_O » Sun Sep 04, 2016 12:27 pm

Just_R wrote: the kids in the orphanages do not seem to be that poor and miserable,

they are not, if this is the orphanage of some civilized country. I've seen some orphanages in Ukraine. and that was really terrible. I really pity the kids who were unfortunate enough to get there... Perhaps, if someday we will think about adopting the second kid - one of the former CIS countries will be the place for us to look. I do not know though how would the local authorities treat gays, but we will give it a try. As I know - everything can be done there for money. For now we are not thinking about that - and we are awaiting to start our surrogacy program.
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Risks

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:14 pm

Paul_O wrote:I've seen some orphanages in Ukraine. and that was really terrible.

It is a noble intention - to adopt the kid from the country, where the life level is much lower, then in your country. This is the reason, why many couples - I am speaking about the couples generally - both straight and LGBT - to adopt kids from the African countries, for example. I am not sure I am ready for this step, though. First - we are going to have the child via the surrogacy program, as we intended. Then - we are going to see, how where things will go. But I would really like to gift a happy childhood to the kid, who was deprived of it. The only thing I am not sure about - is how would my own kid react on that - having the brother or sister, who is not related to our family at all.
Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: Risks

Postby Ben_Roar » Tue Sep 06, 2016 8:58 pm

Ok. As my recent experience showed to me - it is better to think twice, or even three times, if you have some doubts about the adoption, or having the kid at all. We refused of the thought to adopt the kid, me and my ,husband.. We did have doubts, that we were afraid to tell even to each other. And then a single talk with my father uncovered all the things we felt and that we were really thinking about this. Now we do see, that this is not the proper time for such decisions and for such changes in our lives. So if you do have doubts - think twice, dude.

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