We are with my partner together for a long time and now we live together. And it’s time for us to adopt a child. We both want it, but we are afraid of some things. For example, we’ve heard that some risks can be with the adoption of a child - psychological example - incompatibility, inability to love, fear of punishment .... And what to do with all these fears?
Maybe everything and rejection, and psychological incompatibility, can be very annoying that some traits or behavior. Maybe smell. Everything cannot be listed, why a child can irritate. The lower the age of the child the less the risk that the child may be irritating. Infant only provokes delight. A three-year-aged crisis of three years is also multiplied by adaptation. No, I can say everything can be overcome if there is a lot of work and wish. Mainly on yourself. You should be ready for everything! You can if it is necessary visit special training courses which are available now!
I guess that risks are always and you cannot simply avoid a of them. EVEn in heterosexua coupes, guys cannot be sure that their kids woud hve no probems at all. Some kids have huge problems with health and it is obvious, parents are afraid of it. Be aware that raising a child is not a play - it is a real ife.
Before the adoption you must spend a lot of time with the kid. Several month, a year perhaps. this is not like buying a car, pardon me for such a rude comparison) You are right, there are lot of things to be afraid, and there are lot of risks. but the child cannot lie. I mean, you see when it does, and usually you know the reason why it does that. That is why you need to gain it's trust. Many kids forgot how to trust, orphans, I mean. And restoring their belief in people kindness will be the big first step for you to become the real parent for this kid. This is worth alot, my friend!
there are always some risks in our life.. a risk to wake up and die.. the risk to break up and so on... the maim risk of getting a kid is to spend too much money. but you have to understand clearly that the kid - is everything.. it is your future.. it worth.
If you are afraid of this kind of things, you need to adopt a baby, they still do not have any traits of the list that you wrote here. adopting the baby may seem to be a more difficult thing, but in reality it has more benefits. In the long run. This child will take you for it's real parents no matter what, while the older kid will understand what is the real situation here. the baby will not have all those fears, and it will be difficult to get rid of all these fears in case of adoption of an older child. So the decision for you is pretty obvious) you just need to have the courage to make that step!
i will tell you even more, you will face even more fears but if you decided to be a father then you do not have the rule to change your opinion. you have to overcome all the obstacles and you will become stronger and better parent. i think that it is really so and you will not lose anything. you have to make a good contact with you child. it is the most important thing. you have to be friends and understand him very good. do not concentrate yourself and your child that he is an adopted child and everything would be alright. you are the father and you raise him!!
you can experience lot of problems, in theory, while passing trough the first stages of the kid's acclimatization in his new family. that is why it is important to establish the first contact , while you are still visiting this kid in the orphanage. If we are speaking about the babies, then I do not think that you will experience problems of this kind. they still do not have the solid personality, and it will depend on you, what kind of the person it will grow up to. If you are afraid of the genetic heritage, then I can assure you that the raising up gives more then 90 percent of the traits of character.
Andreas_Maroon wrote:If we are speaking about the babies, then I do not think that you will experience problems of this kind.
Yes. So if you do have that kind of fears, it is better for you to adopt a baby. That does have its minuses, but eventually it will be better. And you will have a full right to be called "a parent", cause then you will have the experience of the sleepless nights and the diapers change... Join the club) If you want to do that, step over your fear. Else way it will last for so long that in the end you will just leave this idea to adopt the kid at all. We are going to adopt the child very soon. And this is my first experience of adoption, I do not have all of these fears you are speaking about.
What a nice question that is - "What to do with all these fears". Well, forget them, overcome them, stick them somewhere deeper) there will always be things that might go wrong. there are always "narrow places" and unexpected problems. But if you will think only about the negative part of the errand, you will never achieve any result at all. think positively! Look around, at all those people that achieved their goals on the path that you are afraid to take. Inspire yourself with their examples, and be more confident) Then the luck will follow you in all your errands)
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