Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Paul_O
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Paul_O » Sun Sep 04, 2016 12:31 pm

first we are going to have the child of our own trough the surrogacy program, as I said it earlier. then perhaps we will think about adoption. In this case, of course we will choose the kid that would be younger then our own kid. The only thing I am not sure about is the following. what would be the optimal age for our won kind to accept his step brother \ sister to the family. I would not want him \ her to be jealous, to feel abandoned.. I would like to make our family bigger - not to tare it apart, by no means. I think I need to ask that question to the psychologist, when the time comes.
Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:18 pm

Paul_O wrote: I would like to make our family bigger - not to tare it apart, by no means.

That was the question I was asking myself as well. If you are really intended to ask a psychologist about that - please, write about the answer that you received. I think that kids may react in different ways.. I think that there are 2 best ways in this case. Either to adopt another kid, when your own child is still a baby, or to do that when your kid is grown up already, 18 years old, perhaps. In the first case - the baby will not care, and they will grow up together, as if they would be siblings. In the second case - i think the kid would be mature enough to understand, and to accept your decision.
Ben_Roar
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Ben_Roar » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:02 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:That was the question I was asking myself as well

Me too...Though this question was put away for some time, as the question of the adoption itself) Anyway, I read some things about this. And the most part of psychologists do share the opinion, that if you want to adopt the second kid, the best time to do that is while your first one is still a baby. then they will really get use to each other - and when they are going to grow up they are not going to be "step" siblings for each other. they will live and treat each other as if they would be blood brothers, or brother and sister. I think this is a wise decision. So - if anyone is going to go for it...)
Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Wed Sep 07, 2016 9:25 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:Though this question was put away for some time,

Sure you did - and this time did not pass in vane, even though you decided not to do this step. Not you can give valuable advises) when Susan will grow up, ask her - if she would like to have a brother or a sister. Maybe, up to that time you will be ready to make this step.. We still did not speak with my husband about having the second child, though I noticed some hints he gave me on the question. But , basing on your experience - it is better not to rush with that. We are going to have the first kid - and then we are going to see, how it will go.
Just_R
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Just_R » Thu Sep 08, 2016 10:04 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:when Susan will grow up, ask her - if she would like to have a brother or a sister.

And what is she is going to say that she was always dreaming of having a brother or a sister - and she will be 22 already - and now this will be useless to have another child already?:)) It is better not to ask if you do not want to get disappoint. Though I can make a small prophecy here for Ben personally. for free) You are going to return to this question of having another kid pretty soon. By "soon" I mean several years. Perhaps, in a year or two. I see that you and your husband really want to do this. And this wish will not pass with time - it will only become stronger.
Samuel Hunt
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Samuel Hunt » Sun Sep 18, 2016 6:58 pm

If one day i would like to take a child from orhanage i choose a child of young age, because i want a baby used to me, to my partner and frankly speaking i would like to tell him or her that we are his true parents. But if a child is older he will know for sure that we are not.
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JackHunter3
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby JackHunter3 » Wed Sep 21, 2016 9:31 am

well that is one of the main and in the same time difficult questions for me, cause i generally have not the least idea whom to choos and should i generally choose at all.. it sounds a bit wierd, just like going to the shop and take a thing.. i guess if it is not a surrogacy program then you have to take a kid which you like :D
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Williams
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Williams » Thu Sep 22, 2016 7:59 pm

i don't even know, i have not thought about it but i think that the best decision would be to choose the younger child, and the younger child is the better it would be for you because it would be easier fo you to raise the child. i think that i am right and you would see it when you would adopt the child. if the child is small you have an opportunity to raise him in the way you want it. and i think that it is really important. but when you adopt the child it is really very hard to make him do what you want, i think that it is really impossible, but it is your choice. i wish you good luck.
Frankie
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Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:16 pm

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Frankie » Fri Sep 15, 2017 8:42 am

Hey best friends. Nice to meet you here today))) how are you doing!?how are you going to spend Friday?? So I hope that u will be satisfied with everything. Good statement I should say.. The child is associated with his biological parents only in inherited attributes: color of eyes, hair, facial features, features of shape, type of nervous activity. Also very important is the fact that the adoption of a baby who is no more than a year helps him and foster parents to attach to each other faster. Personally for me 2-3 age is the best age for adopting.
Sam32
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:57 am

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Sam32 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 11:27 pm

Well every person should think it over and decide it by his own. If you don't want to change the dipers, then of course, you should addopt an older child. But if you want to feel how it is not to sleep at night, if you want to hear your child's first word, to see the first tooth, then adopt a little child.

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