Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:57 pm

Not all the countries in Europe allow the adoption for the gay couples... I an not sure about US though. I've made a research, and I figured out that the adoption for the gay couples may be forbidden partially or completely. There are 2 kinds of adoption, basically. those are the joint adoption, and the step parent adoption. Joint adoption allows any couple (straight or gay one) to adopt any child they will choose, if this would be approved by the adoption commission, of course. the step parent adoption means that the couple can adopt the child only if one of the people in this couple is his biological parent or guardian.
Ben_Roar
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Ben_Roar » Tue Aug 23, 2016 6:08 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:Not all the countries in Europe allow the adoption for the gay couples...

Yes. This is the reason why we are going to adopt the kid in South America. In UK the law does not allow us to do this, at least for now. I know that soon the situation may change, but I am not wishing to wait for several years. what is the point, if I will be able to make some kid happy just in several months? The most difficult part will be obtaining the parental rights... We did the preliminary research, and all seems to be fine. But I am sure it will not go as smooth as it was planned. There are always some problems... Perhaps we will have even to give some bribes in Peru (
Just_R
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Just_R » Thu Aug 25, 2016 2:59 pm

Ben_Roar wrote: We did the preliminary research, and all seems to be fine.

I thought that gay adoption is allowed in GB. Seems that I was wrong. They are allowed in LA, but we decided to stop on the option of surrogacy. Ben ,I still think that it is not a good idea to take the kid from so far away... I mean, there must be other ways, more easy ones. And you guys do not have to look for the kid for the adoption on the other side of the world only because your husband goes there for work. I know that GB having hard times with the people of other nationalities right now.. if there will be a gay couple who adopted a kid from Peru, you will represent all that the traditional society is fighting against in your country)
Ben_Roar
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Ben_Roar » Sat Aug 27, 2016 6:50 am

Just_R wrote: you will represent all that the traditional society is fighting against in your country)

That was approximately what my father was saying recently. Though in the end it turned out to be that this was not the main point. He just does not want me to have another child so soon. I do not know. We do have the financial ability right now, and ability to give enough time for both of the kids as well. why to hesitate then? I think it would be better for our kids to grow up together for such an early age. Then, when they will become older, they will not have the questions about their origins - the y will be the closest people to each other. That is my opinion.
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DamonLink
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby DamonLink » Sun Aug 28, 2016 6:33 pm

You know, like a person, i really hate this word CHOOSE... are you in the supermarket? :x :x :x :x iT SOUNDS BAAADD... I really think that it does not matter what age, the matter is that each child, each of us really needs a parent and if you found a kid who got into your heart, do ot think too much. But as a psycho i would take a younger.
Miller
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Miller » Mon Aug 29, 2016 2:58 pm

For me, the best age for adoption is children up to year. Adopting such a child, you will be able to shape his identity from the ground up, to bring certain traits influence his intellectual development. The big plus of this age is the lack of a child of any kind of the memory about his former relatives; he does not remember the negative aspects of his yet short life. The child is associated with his biological parents only in inherited attributes: color of eyes, hair, facial features, features of shape, type of nervous activity. Also very important is the fact that the adoption of a baby who is no more than a year helps him and foster parents to attach to each other faster.
Last edited by Miller on Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just_R
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Just_R » Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:05 pm

Miller wrote: the best the best age for adoption is children up to year.

I am agree with you. As the child becomes older - the natural need in parents, that he felt since his birth, ceases, as he is adapting to the life where he does not have any parents. And eventually - he starts to handle without them pretty fine. So it is better to take the small baby. Me and my husband are already in the surrogacy program, so this will be the way we will have our first kind. Though we are already thinking about the adoption. when we are speaking about having the second one. If we are going to adopt, it will be a small baby for sure.
Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Tue Aug 30, 2016 6:28 pm

Just_R wrote:Though we are already thinking about the adoption.

We do have the same situation, as you, Justin. It is funny that we did apply almost simultaneously) And we were thinking about the adoption of the second child already. Though it is a bit early for now. First we will have our first born from the surrogacy program. But when we are going to adopt the child - we are going to adopt one that is younger then a year old. That will make us sure that we will become "real" parents for him - not some people who replaced the old parents in his life. You have to be a really strong person to adopt an older child.. I do not think we are capable of that.
DANIEL
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby DANIEL » Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:13 am

As for me, I think that it's better to grow up your child. It is easier for the child to get used to you. First year is the most difficult for the child - abdominal pain, allergy, first teeth and so on. If you want to avoid sleepless nights you should take a child who is more then 1 year old.
Just_R
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:55 pm

Recently I visited the adoption center here in LA. the same that my fiance did visit. I just wanted to look around. i must say, that if I would not know what is this place - I would think it is just an ordinary school. there were kids there of different ages. I visited the school, particularly. The older kids seem to be really friendly, even though I know that they were growing up without parents.. I do not know what to think. Maybe, in the end, the parental love is not such a necessary thing for the kid to become a good and happy man? Maybe I was mistaken on this point?

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