Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Jan
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:54 am

Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Jan » Mon Jul 18, 2016 9:21 pm

Hey, guys! I'm thinking over the adoption and there is a dilemma - age of child. There are lot of advantages and disadvantages in any case, so I would like to know your opinion: is it easier to avoid all sleepless nights with elder kid or it's better to grow you child up from very beginning?
Just_R
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:30 am

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Just_R » Tue Jul 19, 2016 9:26 am

Heyy Jan! Congratulate you with your decision) Speaking about the age... It is easier in many ways to deal with the older kid, of course. In my opinion - if you are thinking about the adoption - you are free to choose. You are really correct about those sleepless nights. I passed trough that myself with my niece - and I can tell you that it may become a real nightmare - does not matter even how much you love your kid. Especially if you have to be on work at 9 am) If you feel that it would be too much for you - take an older kid - none is going to judge you for that. Adoption is always an act of mercy.
Richard
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Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:07 pm

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Richard » Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:51 pm

Of course all the parents want to adopt an infant, but not all of them can really do it. In most of the cases people adopt older children. But still be ready to understand and support this child. He can show very bad behaviour, but try to find common language. But still, if I really had a chance to choose, I would choose a baby whom I will love no matter how old he will be.
Andreas_Maroon
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Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:57 am

If you want to be real father - you need to take a small child. then you will have all the experiences that the real father must go trough - those sleepless nights that you were mentioning as well . Though I am not sure that you would like to have those experiences only in order to have that "rank") If you decided to adopt the kid - there is not much to say here except "Take a pick". In this case it does not really matter - if the child is 6 months old - of 4 years - they all equally need love and care. It is not like as if a small baby would be less protected, them a more adult kid. The act of mercy would be equal.
Last edited by Andreas_Maroon on Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mike
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Mike » Fri Jul 22, 2016 4:27 pm

From my point of view, it is better to be with your child since the very beginning of his life. It bonds you with your child. I don’t know how it is to adopt a child. I have a son thanks for surrogacy program. I am really happy that I had an opportunity to be with my child since his first days of life, I think it influences our relationships in a positive way.
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Stephan
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Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Stephan » Sat Jul 23, 2016 5:50 pm

Ahhhhh, i hate the word choosing!!!!!!!!! are you in the supermarket or what?(((( Well, it does not matter what age, the matter is that each kid needs a parent and if you found a kid who got into your heart, do ot think too much. take it home and be a parent!
Prescot
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Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:34 am

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Prescot » Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:42 pm

It seems to me that it is better to adopt a small child. I would advise the age when mental illnesses are obvious. I mean the age of 2-3 years. And by “the difficult age” you will understand your child without words, and you will definitively get on well. I can’t advise you to adopt an infant because he can be ill, though some say that infants are always better!
V_Vegas
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:38 am

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby V_Vegas » Tue Jul 26, 2016 8:38 am

Prescot wrote:I mean the age of 2-3 years.

I am agree with you, Prescot. that would be the best compromise between the "baby" and "kid" stage, if you allow me to use such terms) You dont need to have all those sleepless nights all the week.. and in the same time the kid is still small enough to have the "clear and opened mind", it is up to you to shape his earliest memories. As I know, we cannot recall the things that we were experiencing before the age of 2 - 3 years, they do exist only in our subconsciousness. So 2 - 3 years old is a great age for the adoption. i believe that people can have different opinions on this matter, but this is just a fine decision for me.
Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Ben_Roar » Wed Jul 27, 2016 10:02 am

V_Vegas wrote:that would be the best compromise between the "baby" and "kid" stage

You are right.That would be the best choice for you as for the future parent.On the other hand, if you will skip the baby - age, you will miss lot of interesting experience as well. Hard one , but interesting. We are planning to have one more child in the next year, and we plan to get it trough the adoption. We decided that we are going to take a baby of approximately the same age as our daughter, we want them to be equals in everything. But if we would not have our Susan right now, and we would be planning the adoption, we would take the baby, the youngest age that we would be able to find)
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Adopting: will you choose younger or elder child?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:40 pm

Ben_Roar wrote: We decided that we are going to take a baby of approximately the same age as our daughter,

Ben, you do have the greatest situation with the kids, you will have both biological and adopted one.. I do envy you in some way) It is great that both of your kids will be of the same age.. what sex will it be , will you take a boy or the girl? Maybe it would be better to take a boy? Or you do want to make the count of sexes in your family equal?:) As for me, I would gladly make the same way as you did.. But my fiancé and I decided that if we are going to have 2 kids, they will be both surrogate, and each of us will have a chance to be the biological father. So I am afraid that I am going to pass with the adoption.

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