Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Ben_Roar
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Ben_Roar » Wed Jul 27, 2016 9:57 am

You need to be a very strong person indeed to make the kid trust to the outside world again. Of course, it is much easier with the babies. But when you want to adopt the kid when he is, say , five yours old, and he was an orphan from the birth - that is another story. Especially if he was rejected by his parents, especially if he knows about that. In that age he already does not have any bond to any of the adults, he simply does not feel the need to have parents. You will have to convince him by your thoughts and attitude, that people around still can be trusted, at least some of them.
Andreas_Maroon
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:45 pm

Ben_Roar wrote: Especially if he was rejected by his parents

Usually kids are being rejected at once after their birth, as I know. I mean, there is no point to raise the kid for 4 or 5 years, and then to reject him, it is hard for me to imagine the situation where it would be logical. When kids are becoming orphans in that age, it is much more difficult for them, since they already used to the life they had during these years. That happens by the decision of the court sometimes, when there is violence in the family. These children are really miserable and there is not a big chance for them to recover completely. Though I think there is a chance for everyone in this world.
Ben_Roar
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Ben_Roar » Fri Jul 29, 2016 8:57 pm

I have a friend on the job, who had a very hard childhood. He was growing up in the family that had 3 kids, he was the middle one. Mother was an alcoholic, and father was in the jail. He lived there up to 8 years, when his mother was arrested by the charge of drug dealing. All the kids got to the specialized school for the orphans. He did not tell me of the details, but he explained that it was a really hard place to live, psychologically. Nevertheless, he has a good job right now, a great wife and kids of 5 and 7 years. He is really happy. But I think it is rather an exception from the rule.
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Chase
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Chase » Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:18 pm

you know there are two different cases in it i think. the first one is that the children who are very small and they do not understand anything, the do not know that their biological parents has left him. i am talking about children who are under one year old. i think that it is better to adopt such a child because he or she does not have the psychologic trauma. of course it is more difficult to raise the child but still. you are definitely right that it is difficult to make the child happy is his mother has left him.
Just_R
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Just_R » Wed Aug 03, 2016 10:11 pm

I am sure that is very difficult both for the kid and for the parents. the child looses the trust to adults, especially if it was abandoned in older age - 5 or 7 years.. the child already has a formed consciousness, and it does not tolerate such thing as a treachery. And that is just the way the kid takes the rejection by the parents. there are lot of pother occasions of course, the parents may be dead, for example, then, I think, it is easier to find the common language with the child. But I would not risk to adopt the kid, who was rejected, and who is aware of that. I am really sorry for these kids, but...
David
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby David » Tue Aug 09, 2016 9:28 pm

There are two ways and which one to chose it is your one choice. The first is not to tell the kid that you are not his biological parent. On the one hand, this way has advantages for example, you won't injure the child's mind and psychological health. Because it could be too hard to realize spontaneous that your dad is not ready your dad. But on the other hand, he/she has all rights to know the truth and should to accept it, to learn how to live with that and appreciate everything you have done for the child. However, I advice you to look in your child's eyes and to understand if he needs to be told the truth or not. Good luck!'
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Josh_H
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Josh_H » Thu Aug 11, 2016 5:53 am

I guess it depends on the age when his father left him, you know? if a child remembers a father then sure for some time it would be difficult and he would miss his dad, but if a child is a small one you needn't waarry, really. he will servive in any case) the main thing is that you are bside him)
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Brendon_L
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Brendon_L » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:08 am

I guess that it is not too difficult. cause when a kid is a small one, yo do not think about him. i mean about a father, either biologica or not. you just live and feel happy when you have a person beside who oves you. That is why i do not think that a child woud fe much pain.
Ben_Roar
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby Ben_Roar » Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:48 pm

I see that this forum was hacked... Admins, please, can you delete this crap written in cyrrilic?
anyway. I had a chat with that friend of mine that I was mentioning in the post above. He told me that he was really lucky to get to the good family after his mother was put in jail.. when he was in the specialized school for orphans, on the fifth year of study one family announced the wish to adopt him. He simply did not see the reason why to refuse, because this meant much better living conditions. Eventually, it gave him much more then that. He had a mother and the father that became the closest people in his life, even though they were not his biological parents.
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JanisNiv
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Re: Is it difficult to make a child happy when his biological parent left him?

Postby JanisNiv » Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:24 pm

I think it is always possible to make a child happy with showing and giving him love.. and no matter the age of the child, if you truely love this kid - he or she will be happy with you every single day, i guess. Just do what you do, and do not eave him. at east you.

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