I want to adopt a child!

Billy
Posts: 119
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2016 11:20 pm

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Billy » Mon Jul 25, 2016 12:21 pm

Tomy, I am very sorry, but I can't share my succesful story with you, because I am still a single men without children, and it is very sad, but I really want to encourage you, because it is quite possible to adopt a child. First of all you should decide for yourself in what country you wanna do it?
Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Paul_O » Tue Jul 26, 2016 6:57 am

Ben_Roar wrote:dont feel any shame or guilt

I know what you are talking about. There was a topic somewhere on this forum, I think, about the kids with.. special needs. and it all comes to the same thing. You feel that they have less chances to be adopted because of some flaws of their development, and that makes you feel pity for them more then for the healthy kids. That is really sad, of course, but you must remember what was the reason you decided to adopt the child. this reason is make a happy family. So that means the reason is a bit selfish in some part... You want to be happy yourself too. Be honest to yourself - and consider, if you will be happy , adopting the child with special needs. Or, in this case, will you be happy with an adopted child at all, or you really do need the kid that would be related to you genetically.
V_Vegas
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:38 am

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby V_Vegas » Tue Jul 26, 2016 9:17 am

Paul_O wrote:and that makes you feel pity for them more then for the healthy kids

That approach is completely understandable, it is based on simple compassion towards the people who are less lucky in this life then we are. And that is good when you are able to have these feelings. But you cannot allow these feelings to rule all the processes in your life. You need to make the decisions basing not only upon the emotions, but on the common sense as well. Unfortunately, I have to join the opinions that were expressed previously. I would not be able to take the care of the child with the special needs.. Though, I see this topic was not about this in the beginning .. How did we come to this?:)
Harry Oz
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2016 9:22 am

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Harry Oz » Tue Jul 26, 2016 12:41 pm

i've wrote already that adoption is not for me. i don't feel that I am able to love someone elses' child as my own. That is why i have never considered adoption as variant for my family.
The other thing is surrogacy, it is great option where you are able to have baby with your genes. As for me it is the biggest plus which cross all disadvantages of surrogacy process. Yes, surrogacy process is not so easy, as well as adoption but there are different organisations which can help you with it. We were consulted in Panax Center, it was good news for us that first consultation is free. So, we received answers for all our questions, we haven't take final decision yet, should think everything over.
I recommend such way like consulting the agency and than among the proposed variants to choose the most suitable for you.
V_Vegas
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 11:38 am

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby V_Vegas » Wed Jul 27, 2016 8:24 am

Harry Oz wrote: As for me it is the biggest plus


It is quite understandable as well. that is a natural wish of any living being, to make itself immortal trough its genetic heritage. But on the other hand, there is not that big difference, as you think. You will not have any special unseen "bond" with your genetic child, which you would not have with an adopted child. There are so many families with their own kids, which are miserable, and on the other hand, there are so many happy families who used adoption. I can understand what you are speaking about, Harry, but the matter we are speaking about is really not that important as it seems to be.
Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Ben_Roar » Wed Jul 27, 2016 9:54 am

V_Vegas wrote:There are so many families with their own kids, which are miserable,

I always put that fact as the argument, when it comes to those discussions about the gay couples. Many people say that" gays must have no right to get married and have a child, because such marriages are sterile and do not benefit society". We are speaking about the society that has tens of thousands of orphans, created by the traditional couples.. how does that benefit society? If a gay couple adopt the kid - that makes all three of the sides of the conflict satisfied : the couple, the kid, the authorities. There are not that many traditional couples who are willing for the adoption, simply because they can have the kid of their own.
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Thu Jul 28, 2016 8:54 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:all three of the sides of the conflict satisfied : the couple, the kid, the authorities.

My fiancé was in the adoption centrer recently, near Firenze in Italy. We pretended to be a heterosexual guy, and started to communicate with the staff there about the adoption. Eventually, they started talking about the adoption for the gays, and he told me that people there were almost intimidated with this idea. They told us that even though it is allowed by the law, they try to avoid such adoptions as much as they can, and they still did not haver such experiences yet. That is the way the prejudice works against us, even when the law works in our favour. That is sad.
Paul_O
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:34 am
Location: Helsinki

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Paul_O » Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:00 pm

Andreas_Maroon wrote:He pretended to be a heterosexual guy

That is a nice trick! Your boyfriend likes to play a spy I see. But he got some interesting information. If you would be more serious in your intentions, I think you could even sue these people. That would not do any good, though. I know that in my country there are no problems of that kind with the adoption. I know people from the adoption centre.. Though the thing is that most part of kids there are black now, or Arabs. I am not a racist... But I would like to have a white baby. And I think I have a full moral right to have that wish, this is for me to decide. What would you say guys, would anyone of you want to adopt the child of other race?
Ben_Roar
Posts: 153
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:26 pm

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Ben_Roar » Fri Jul 29, 2016 9:01 pm

Paul_O wrote:That is a nice trick!

Yes, I liked it too) My husband will leave to Peru in several months. He has a job to do there, but also he will visit local orphanages in order to find the child for the adoption. We are not quite sure about the way people treat gays there, and the idea of the gay parenting. So I think that it would be wise to start from such trick, to learn the present situation, and not t be rejected by the authorities there too soon. Usually I prefer to be honest, especially in cases like this one. But I think sometimes you can tell some lies, in order to make a greater good. Thanks for the tip, anyway)
Andreas_Maroon
Posts: 176
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:39 am

Re: I want to adopt a child!

Postby Andreas_Maroon » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:26 pm

Ben_Roar wrote:but also he will visit local orphanages in order to find the child for the adoption


Ben, why to look so far away? Would not it be easy in all ways to search for an orphanage in your native country? That would be much more logical and beneficial for your future kid as well, I think. Besides, it would be much easier to deal with the paperwork. I think you and your husband are looking for some really exotic decisions of the problem) Tell him to consider about looking in Peru. Did you figure our the citizenship and adoption conditions in Peru? I am not sure if that country is poor enough to make it possible to avoid some law restrictions... That is a common practice in Latin America.

Return to “Adoption”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest