A lot of my friends would like to have a big family, so does my partner. As for me, I think that's it difficult to look after 2 or more children at the same time. It means that I will have to divide my attention, to surprise both of them. I'm not used to this. So what would you advice?
If you say you are not used to this, I would rather advise you not to do that) Generally, I think that if you do not have any experience with kids - it is better for you to adopt one single small baby. If you did not handle the kids yet, the small ones especially, I will tell you that they will surprise you much, before you will be able to surprise them , as you wrote here) this is a hard labour, to handle the small child - I know that very well! And to handle 2 at once... Think twice before doing something like that. think twice - and then please reconsider)
Speaking for myself - no, I would not. i did have some experience in nursing the child. But never had my own one. To have 2 kids simultaneously would be really too much for me. We are going to start the surrogacy program with my fiance in a month - and I am not sure, if we are going to be able to determine mow many kids we would like to have. I mean - what is we are going to have twins? I am not sure if we can define that beforehand - I will have to ask that question to the doctors in the agency. I would like to have only one child, at least for the first time. then we would see, how will it go)
Daniel, you are asking the second.. not really wise question on this forum) The first one was about the surrogate mother, and then this.. Are you asking us "if it is ok to adopt 2 kids, if you are not sure you are going to handle them? And, I forgot to mention, I never had kids". What can I say on this.. i think it is better for you to start from one - and then just to go with the flow, to gain the experience. to have another kin, when you are going to feel you are ready - and to increase the load each year, like in the power-lifting, or any other kind of sports))
If you ask me yes,I am ready. I adore children and can handle two ones. It's not a problem to organise common games for them or to involve in funny activities. It's even better because children will not disturb you all the time.They both can make friends. Sure you must be always near to see if everything is going well. If you want a piece of advice for you I would tell you just be responsible. Pay equal attention to both. Be sure you are not afraid of difficulties and can wisely solve misunderstanding if any appear between them
Rick14 wrote:If you ask me yes,I am ready.
I think that you do only see the positive sides of this. And God, there are lot of them! All the things that you wrote in your post are correct, of course. But you know that there is always the other side of the medal. It will be twice more expensive - are you ready for that? It will be much more difficult, will take more time and efforts. Do not forget that when you are going to make that kind of a decision. i always prefer to think positively - but there are things that demand a different approach - where you have to see all the good and bad sides of the decision you make.
Andreas_Maroon wrote:I think that you do only see the positive sides of this.
Andreas - i am glad that our conversations on this forum did not pass in vane for you! You are starting to learn being the realist, as i am. My school, do not thank me - this was a pleasure) Ok, just kidding) but you are right anyway. If the person did not have the kids before - it is better to start from having one.. Two may be too much, when you do not have the experience. As I know, we have the possibility to choose the number of the kids, that the surrogate mother is going to deliver. Heh, I wonder if the agencies do have the special offers, like "If you start the surrogacy program now - you will get the second child for free!")
Sure, why not. Especially if they are twins or just a brother and a sister. It will be a huge stress for babies to separate them. And actually if you want to have a happy family, by staticts, it is better to have several kids. It will make your family even happier.
If you are not against, i am going to telly ou now one really great story. my parents have a family friends and they have two their own kids, they are hetero but it does not really mean, you know. so however, their kids are already adult, but they are stil ready to be parents. so a year ago they were suggested to become foster parents of three kids, a girl was 14 her brother twelve and one more sis only ten. they were from a bad family, their dad died and mom was sick.. i do not really remeber the illness, but however they became al a part of one family and it is great.
i think that it is very rude to adopt only or only a brother and i think that it is not human to divide sister and brother because they are the only family for each other and i think that it is really very important for them and you shall not do it because the child may have trauma because of it. but i think that it would be really very hard to adopt two children when you thought about adopting only one child. but i think that it may be also easier for you to do it because the older child may help you to raise the younger. i think that it may be good idea, i would adopt both of them.
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